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Turkey_Testicles
[n00b] Member
Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2009 12:00 am Posts: 1497 Location: Texas
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 what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
Ok heres a good army story for yall out there.
Every year we soja bois in the armieee have a requirement to get put through the gas chaimber for a time period to "instill confidence in our use of a gas mask". anyway that time came up again today.
Before you ask, no it wont kill you. Youll feel like your dying, or that maybe you want to die, but all it is, is tear gas...CS gas to be exact. All i know is that it will clear the F*CK out of your sinuses.
Anyway the gas itself will make you cough up your lungs and your racial color, so its no suprise that our chemical guy is rather harsh by giving us sometimes a tripple dose in the burners.
Well, all started as it should on a hawaiian friday. We suit up in full chem gear...in about 90 degree weather under the blaring sun. were sweating faucets as we start moving to the even hotter gas chaimber. we got a few guys who havent been in that long start freaking out, as even with the door closed, you can feel the CS gas burn the back of your hands, so we know that our Chem NCO was especialy satanic today, that and we were the first batch to go in.
So we march in and he, despite being surrounded in a fog of crystal pain, starts instructing us to do various exercises to get our heart rate up, instructs in in various other tasks, and basicaly just overall teaching us that we can still function with our masks on.
What i diddnt mention is that i have a 2nd degree sunburn on my back from whoreing myself out at the battalian car wash two days prior, so i am in a world of shit right now. the chem suit was breaking open my blisters and making my time in that chaimber so much more enjoyable.
that is until i looked next to me. one of the other soldiers diddnt seal his mask correctly and started coughing as the trace amouns of gas seeped into his mask. a few people were like this, so this waznt anything unexpected. that is to say, i diddnt think anything would come of that. so we all take in a deep breath and reseal our masks, all coughing up a lung as no matter how hard you blow, your still gonna get some gas in your chest. well all calm down as the chem nco goes around to start quizzin people, and then i look to my left and the soldier with the fauly gas mask starts lurching forward, but never falling.
this continues for about another few seconds before the chem nco takes notice. when he askes the soldier if hes alright, i noteced that i couldent see his eyes in his mask. thats when the soldier pulled it away from his face and out poured a torrent of vomit, coupled with him trying to take a deep breath of the CS gas, then throwin up again, this time all over the chem nco.
i guess the other guys had weak stomachs because after seeing this, two more soldiers blew chunks into thier masks, removed it and then tried to take in a deep breath, again blowing more chunks on the small cramped room, as if thier expirence would be any different than the first or second guy.
i was laughing my ass off, as much as i was hating life at that moment due to the CS crystals getting into my sunburns. I would have been ROFLin, but seeing the spewfest, desided it would be an unwise desision.
Ill never look at a can of chunky soup the same way again.
_________________Hooker wrote: Sometimes your compliments and turkeyisms stun me. n00bfest presentsBROKEN MUGEN
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| Sat Oct 24, 2009 12:59 am |
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Montreal
[n00b] Member
Joined: Fri Aug 21, 2009 3:46 am Posts: 2623 Location: Montreal, Canada
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
Hahaha, F*CKING epic story brah!
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| Sat Oct 24, 2009 1:19 am |
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obejii
[n00b] Member
Joined: Wed Jun 11, 2008 11:00 pm Posts: 461
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
sweet dude.
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| Sat Oct 24, 2009 4:55 am |
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Mr.Reilly
n00bfest Council
Joined: Wed Oct 21, 2009 4:24 pm Posts: 1768
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
hahaha thats F*CKIN awesome. my buddy is in 10th mountain and told me some funny stories of kids like that. though one thing i couldnt believe was when the chem nco made the last group of 5 recite a bunch of shit pertaining to the army (cant remember what) so he hears these guys coughing up everything and struggling to get this shit out haha. I actually cant wait for Navy boot to expriance this stuff hahaha. Idk call me crazy but hearing all these stories over the years made me curious.
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| Sat Oct 24, 2009 7:22 am |
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JoeMamma
n00bfest Asshole
Joined: Mon Dec 20, 2004 12:00 am Posts: 11345 Location: Frisco/McKinney, TX
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
Very nice, Turkey; had to go through this once (yes...us Squid's only do it once) in bootcamp...Reilly, you'll get to experience it, too. It was quite the experience....
_________________When I fart, it smells like a BBP.  I hope Tom Brady gets anally raped in Hell.
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| Sat Oct 24, 2009 10:29 am |
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Turkey_Testicles
[n00b] Member
Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2009 12:00 am Posts: 1497 Location: Texas
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
well for sergeants time training, im trying to get my next class into the convoy simulator.. its like th f-22 combat simulator for 5-paks and gun trucks.
how well do you think a bunch of non-deployed computer geeks can effectivaly run a convoy? lol
its a virtual reality thingy with motion sensors and shit. alot better than learning formation movements. fewer blisters too.
_________________Hooker wrote: Sometimes your compliments and turkeyisms stun me. n00bfest presentsBROKEN MUGEN
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| Sat Oct 24, 2009 8:50 pm |
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JoeMamma
n00bfest Asshole
Joined: Mon Dec 20, 2004 12:00 am Posts: 11345 Location: Frisco/McKinney, TX
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
LOL! I would actually pay to watch that training....
_________________When I fart, it smells like a BBP.  I hope Tom Brady gets anally raped in Hell.
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| Sat Oct 24, 2009 9:03 pm |
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RussianTrix
[n00b] Member
Joined: Sat Oct 13, 2007 11:00 pm Posts: 2049 Location: UNDER YOUR BED
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
ahaha nice story Turkey :)) ♥
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| Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:21 am |
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Tikimon
[n00b] Member
Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2008 11:00 pm Posts: 2403 Location: FL
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
I lol'd. Chunkyness FTW!
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| Sun Oct 25, 2009 12:59 pm |
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Crzyninja
[n00b] Member
Joined: Fri Jul 17, 2009 11:00 pm Posts: 2410 Location: california
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
i hear the trainers in the gas rooms dont even use masks that shit dont bug them any more that true turk?
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| Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:52 pm |
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doublesven
I have NO life....
Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2008 11:00 pm Posts: 2552
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
I just bought a shit ton of soup the other day to. Good thing I have a gut of steel.
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| Sun Oct 25, 2009 8:23 pm |
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Turkey_Testicles
[n00b] Member
Joined: Wed Jan 28, 2009 12:00 am Posts: 1497 Location: Texas
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
Crzyninja wrote: i hear the trainers in the gas rooms dont even use masks that shit dont bug them any more that true turk? rofl SEVERAL MONTHS LATER..... nah most of them do. thing is, the senior sergeants have been exposed to CS so many times and thier advanced training in the chemical field is something short of your amazed they diddnt mutate into something worse. most still use the mask but are immune enough to still retain minor speech functions, but thats the funny ting with cs gas. some people are completly immune to it. had a Drill sergeant in basic who breathed in something harsh of a double dose on the burners. the F*CKER lit a smoke, diddnt bother him in the slightest, while the rest of us are doing a combination of the pee-pee dance and resedent evil zombie "holy shit i cant breathe" noises.
_________________Hooker wrote: Sometimes your compliments and turkeyisms stun me. n00bfest presentsBROKEN MUGEN
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| Tue Mar 30, 2010 2:12 am |
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Loke
Game Server Admin
Joined: Sat Sep 05, 2009 9:03 am Posts: 1603
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
hehe we did that when i was in the army too, but here's the fun part, we all have to take off our masks in the gas chamber this way if there's ever an attack we know the feeling and don't panic in the same way...
also i have a friend that's immune he sat down in a corner of the gas chamber and just sat there smoking cigarettes and singing songs when the new groups arrived, funny as hell when you see a couple of the recruits getting C*CK and then we pulled their masks off ^^
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| Tue Mar 30, 2010 3:28 am |
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winitnow
Game Server Admin
Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2009 11:00 pm Posts: 3113
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
lmao thats awesome turkey i kinda feel bad for the first guy tho with the crappy mask but the others are F*CKING noobs lol
_________________  "I am the robber of my cradle. Candy is my body and teddy-bears are my blood. I have snached over a thousand little girls. Unknown to police. Nor known to Chris Henson. Have withstood time to stalk many children. Yet those kids will never be enough. So as I pray--"
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| Tue Mar 30, 2010 3:59 am |
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dirkdeagler
[n00b] Member
Joined: Sun Oct 25, 2009 7:12 pm Posts: 3663 Location: Mt Hood, Oregon
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
hahahahaha awesome story :)
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| Tue Mar 30, 2010 12:05 pm |
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Pit_Stop
[n00b] Member
Joined: Mon Sep 10, 2007 11:00 pm Posts: 611 Location: Texas
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
EWWW
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| Sat Apr 03, 2010 10:52 am |
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PinkMonk3y
[n00b] Member
Joined: Sun Apr 09, 2006 11:00 pm Posts: 1036 Location: Dizney Madness
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
Quote: thats when the soldier pulled it away from his face and out poured a torrent of vomit, coupled with him trying to take a deep breath of the CS gas, then throwin up again, this time all over the chem nco. I just lawled all over the place, wish there was video!
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| Sat Apr 03, 2010 11:11 am |
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acid_rain
Retired n00bfest O.G.
Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2004 12:00 am Posts: 2737
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
Update: I'm going this next-coming week. We do jumping jacks and shit while we're breathing it in. Normally we ask soldiers questions, and then while they are answering with their mask off we punch them in the stomach so they are forced to breathe in the CS gas.
LOL.
This will be my fourth time going.
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| Sat Apr 03, 2010 6:42 pm |
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Reborn
[n00b] Member
Joined: Thu May 21, 2009 11:00 pm Posts: 2117 Location: Sagittarius A*
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
Hehehe...it reminds of of one of the Mi6 (spooks) episodes where the same thing happened :)
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| Sat Apr 03, 2010 6:53 pm |
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Hooker
[n00b] Member
Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 1:47 pm Posts: 2564
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 Re: what kind of soup....CHUNKY!!!
At the g20 in pittsburgh they busted out tear gas, rubber bullets, foam guns and those trucks with the satellite thing on top that shoots radio waves that makes you feel like you're having boiling water poured on you.
Hippies got F*CKING wrecked.
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| Mon Apr 05, 2010 12:52 pm |
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