sorry to here this man my thoughts and prayers are with you

we're all here for you @ n00bfest Lecoq ♥ stay strong

Best wishes Lecoq.

Sorry to hear all that, bud. Stay strong! <33
Just remember that Christmas miracles can come true!

Sorry to hear that bud. Not much I can add that hasn't been said already, but regardless of what happens, focus on the positive. Life can really suck sometimes, but you gotta keep your head up!

My heart is with you man, losing family is hard. Best wishes to you and your entire clan.

So sorry to hear that, man. In all seriousness, has/will he smoke weed? THC has been shown to reduce the size of tumors and slow cancer spread (citation). I'm not touting it as a cure, but it'll help, I think. If for nothing else, it'll help him feel/eat better (citation)

I wish all the best for you and your family.

Just did my last final exam today, at last!

Thanks for all the kind words. Not shy to say I cried a little for some of them. My dad went to see the professionals for chemotherapy and we've had good news. Since this form of cancer is one of the worst, as we predicted, he won't last 6 months, but he decided to fight it anyway, giving him and us a lot more hope about it. He's decided to do chemotherapy sessions to help fighting it even though he's been said it was exhausting. They said it would give him a lot more time, and he would make it for about 12 months. 12 is way better than 6, and will give him time to be grand-father, and for us time to be with him and tell him that we love him.

Purple really said something that helped me realize something. I have time to say him goodbye. Even though it is one tough thing to know when he's gonna leave us, I know those moments will be great and memorable.

Leaving for 3 weeks over there, and I doubt I'll log on internet for a while except for facebook on my cellphone, so I hope you'll have a good time for Christmas, and I'll be thinking about you for Christmas that's for sure!

Take care of yourselves
Coq

That is good news man. Hang in there my friend.

Hey, so as I wasn't expecting when I wrote this at first, he lasted a whole year.

Hasn't been easy for all of us though. He went in the coma for a couple of days for a stupid mistake in his pills, became allergic to other pills. Had 2 colds. Just to remind you, his cancer is affecting the "skin" that surrounds the lungs and the heart. You can't cure it. Not even the luckiest man on Earth could since it's uncurable. You can't change that skin. That we didn't know at the very begining, but we learned a lot by reading about it.

He stayed tough and made it to meet my sister's baby. Now the big challenge is a bit more scary. He learned, we learned, last week, that his lungs are subsiding because of the cancer. It means that it starts growing, and it grows fast. He started coughing regularly, can't walk long distances (but still can walk around), and can't lift heavy stuff anymore. Once the lungs begin to subside, the timer starts. The doctors don't know how much time he has left, but it is somewhere between 2 months to 6 months for sure since he can't have chemo anymore. It would be too hard on him and would kill him at some point.

I struggle to end my semester, really. I don't study in anything too hard, but I can't stay focused through a whole class. It's my last semester though so I'm almost over with it. Now I need to know what I'll do next: either I stay at school and start courses needed for college (which I can do later in college anyway), or I go work with the navy for a while because I need money for college and appartment. Only thing is I know his health is degrading really fast and I'm afraid I won't be there if anything happens.. What makes me sad is I didn't have enough time with him IMO.

You see, when you always knew your father the way he was before, and now he's talking about how he wants his death to happen (hospice, funerals, church, etc.), it really hits you in the face. Purple said earlier last year that it's better this way than if I would've lost him in an accident or something.. well I don't know. I sure had time to let him know I love him, but I also had time to see him getting worse and worse, and the pictures that I have in my head aren't happy pictures. If you've never encountered this before (because I know some have), it's tough.

What do you think I should do next? I still struggle to decide if I stay at school (and still be available only once a month to see him), or leave with the navy for a month or 2, and come back to work in the same city as him... I don't want to regret anything, but I don't know how to make my decision.

I started typing a response, but realized I was accidentally repeating a lot of what I said previously. I'm not sure what else to say at this point. Keep your head up bro.

I can somewhat relate to what your going through. A few years ago my mom found out she had melanoma and they said if it spread from her pinky to anywhere else she would have a high possibility of dying. Luckily she made it out with only losing half her pinky. I'm sorry to hear the bad news and best wishes to you and your family.

Im sorry to hear about the news. Ill be praying for you guys

Keep it together homie. Thats all you can do.

Death is natural. It's going to happen. Whether now, or later. It WILL happen. Can't stop it.

I lost my shit for a minute when I saw my mother dying. But you know what? She saw me grow up and make the right decisions in my life, watched me grow into the man I am today. It sucks, not having her around, truly it does. But only thing you can do is keep your head up. Stay strong. Don't falter. When you talk with your father, talk about the good times that were had. Reminisce about happy family moments, some thing to think about other than Death.

Take a minute. Take a day to sort your thoughts out. This may seem harsh, but after he's gone, life will go on. You will still be there to support those around you and make a life for yourself, so keep that in mind. Take a semester off if you have to get your shit straight, I'm sure the last thing your father wants to see if your life falling apart. (That may be an asshole thing to say, but it needs to be said.)

Good luck my friend. I'm not a religious person, but I do believe in a human soul. Everyone has one, and it doesn't just 'disappear'. I do hope for the best for you and yours, may the happiness your father's soul has brought you over the years stay with you throughout the lives of you, and your family.

I can't believe this is the first time i'm seeing this thread.

I am so sorry to hear about what you're going through Lecoq! I've had to deal with my dad's horrible health my whole life, and i've been scared sick so many times because I thought I was going to lose him. I really can't begin to understand what you are feeling. All I can say is reading some of the things i've read in this thread have really touched me. Some of them could bring a tear to any mans eyes, and most of them are proof that you have more people to turn to than just your direct family. Your n00b family is always here for you.

I really hope for the best for you and your family. Take care of yourself and your family, and be there for your dad any time that you can.

I'm in same boat as caniboid how did I miss this thread from last year. But its awesome he was able to meet his grandchild. And its awesome he lasted another year, just keep your head up and continue on with what you think is best. I know your asking us for help but sometimes its best to do waht your gut feeling and what you think is best. Just stay with him as long as you can, and if you decide to go navy just make sure there's a way for you to get to him if things turn for worse. It'll be harder on you if your not there when he does pass then if you were somewhere else.

Good luck lecoq, and hope he last longer than everyone thinks!

One good thing is that it won't get worse really quickly. It will be a matter of days. I'll have enough time to go to shore (if I'm on sea), take the first flight and go back home. I'm confident I won't miss it.

What makes it easier to go through is the fact that, outside school, I keep myself busy. I still kayak, I started playing css again, which helps in the way that I just don't think about it for the moment I play, I go walk quite often, so I have a lot of time by myself to think about it. Hardest moments are at school where I just want to end it asap. Next semester wouldn't be fun at all if I'd continue. I'll surely take a semester off I think.



You know, it's hard to figure this out. You lived it, you can tell how hard it is to accept. I still can't, and I don't know if I will be able to. My dad is the one that taught me everything. I'm exactly how he is, I want to be as responsible as he is, as good and nice with a girl as he was/is with my mom and his current wife. He's the exact same picture I want to be. it's gonna be a huge hole in my life, and I'm just not ready to let him go, not yet though. There are so many things that I haven't done with him, so many things that we haven't lived togheter

You know Lecoq, I've heard that when you lose you father/parents it actually makes you stronger in the end, because you learn you can rely entirely on yourself. Of course, this is after you come to terms with the loss. I have not lived this, but I've heard it more than once, and Strange eluded to it as well. The wonderful thing is that your father has raised you well, and you see him as the great man and role model he is. I believe he will be watching you from beyond as you become this same role model for your own kids. You will continue to make him proud, as your kids will for you after you pass on. It's the circle of life (cue Lion King song).

I lost my mother to leukemia when I was 7 years old, 20 years ago on Sunday. My father gave me up to my grandmother who raised me until her passing 7 years later from a drunk driver. The drunk driver spent two years in prison for her death, and from the last I heard he killed another lady the same way about 1 - 2 years ago. Then I moved in with my aunt who is still alive. My father who I still keep in touch with but rarely, was recently diagnosed with Cirrhosis of the liver from taking too many pain pills. I don't expect him be around too much longer, either.

It is a tough time, when you loose a parent I won't bullshit you there. I do agree with Purple it will make you stronger, and more self reliant.

The best advice I can offer you is to remember them, not for whatever state they was in when they passed. But remember more specifically how they lived. Look back at your experience with this person, and use them to move forward with life.

Best of luck to you.

Edit*
If you would like to hear a story in time that mentions my grandmother. She was a very strong person. It was uploaded to the website in 2005, but originally written in the early to mid 80s.



http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1074735,00.html

Its good to see you back around, i wish it were for better reasons other than to clear your mind.
Keep your head up, stay strong. As you can tell from the posts in this thread, this community is here for you.