The Logic…





Two n00bfest regulars, Corpse and Super, are sitting at their
favorite bar, drinking beer.

Corpse turns to Super and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through
life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the
Community College, and sign up for some classes."

Super thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day, Corpse goes down to the college and meets the Dean
of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes:
Math, English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Corpse says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weed eater?"

"Yeah"

"Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think
that you would have a yard."

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think
logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have
a family."

"I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you
must have a wife."

"Yes, I do have a wife."

"And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a
heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out
all of that because I have a weed eater!"

Excited to take the class now, Corpse shakes the Dean's hand and
leaves to go meet Super at the bar.

He tells Super about his classes, how he is signed up for Math,
English, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Super says, "What's that?"

Corpse says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weed eater?"

"No."

"Then you're a queer!"









The Push…





Torque and Mrs. Torque are awakened at 3 o'clock in the morning by a
loud pounding on the door...



Torque gets up and goes to the door where a drunken Strange is

standing in the pouring rain, and asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says Torque, "It is three o'clock in the morning."

He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked Mrs. Torque.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asks.

"No. I did not. It is three o'clock in the morning and it is pouring rain
outside!!."

Mrs. Torque replied, "Can't you remember about three months ago when we
broke down and those two guys helped us?



I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

Torque does as he is told (of course!), gets dressed and goes out
into the pouring rain.



He calls out into the dark, "Hello! Are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out Torque .

"Yes! Please!" comes the reply from the darkness.

"Where are you?" asks Torque.

"Over here on the swing!!" Strange replies!

*giggle*

lolz weed eater

Pretty sneaky sis...

That was funny, though.

Very old Joke but even better with Corpse and Super

Look at this one:

Conversation between George W. Bush and Countess Rice

HU'S ON FIRST
(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condoleezza Rice: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yessir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yessir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yessir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yessir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yessir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(The phone rings. Condi picks it up.)
Condi: Rice.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. May be we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?

that joke had potential. then got gay. gg you lose

nice bald

All jokes were good.


Weed-Eaterless? Queer.

Made me lawl.

The Logic joke was pretty funny.

i liked all of them as well and torques "he obeys her of course" *whip*

Those were pretty good baldie.

nice

Bald I thought that second joke was F*CKING hilarious, God bless you

Jeez give him an emmy.

or a blow job.





/ahem OCELOT?

No thank you! Parallel parking with a water bed is scary stuff. I'll take the award.

You silly bald man.......lmao..♥

Lawl, your insanity makes me laugh.

Parallel park a water bed. I got a visual of the cartoon Madballer (The one Youngster drew) driving a waterbed down the street, spec-ing asian drivers.