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ApoKolypse
[n00b] Member
Joined: Thu Jan 05, 2006 12:00 am
Posts: 8388
Location: London
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 Fun with Bots. So, I was bored as hell tonight, and one of those bots for some random-ass program alerted me not once, but twice. Her name was Amy; this is her story.
Amy Says: Hey wait! We hate to see you go. So we'd like to offer you a $5.00 discount for purchasing the full version of The Shield Professional 2006™ now. That's just 24.99 to keep your computer virus free. It's a great value!
Amy Says: Please type 'HI' or 'HELLO' in the space below to let me know you are there...
Amy Says: That's just 24.99 to keep your computer virus and hacker free. It's a great value! CLICK HERE
Amy Says: Just let me know you are there...
Amy Says: Whenever you are ready, just type 'HI' or 'HELLO' and we can get started...
Amy Says: Just type 'HI' in the space below...
Amy Says: This will only take a few moments.
You: zOmG
Amy Says: Remember when you invest in the full version of The Shield Professional you can fix an UNLIMITED number of viruses and receive free virus updates for an entire year!
Amy Says: I am authorized to offer you $5 off! Just CLICK HERE
You: You aren't a real person though
Amy Says: I'm a real person.
You: Type "Zounds! I'm Amy and I'm a real person, not an automated "service providing" computer program."
Amy Says: I'm a real person.
You: See, but that could be a macro.
Amy Says: This is a limited time offer for the price of $24.99 that I am authorized to give you.
Amy Says: Can I interest you in this limited time offer?
You: Oh definately.
You: But, Type "Zounds!" once, then I'll know you're real.
Amy Says: For customer support or any questions, please CLICK HERE.
Amy Says: Professional 2006 ™, using Hauri® technology for virus protection, accurately detects and repairs viruses with its fully optimized and separated antivirus engine for Macro, Script and Windows viruses.
Amy Says: Act now! You are just a click away from a virus free computer. CLICK HERE.
You: Definately Bot-Talk.
Amy Says: It is distinguished from the other Antivirus tools by its high-speed scanning capability. It also scans and cleans email messages on a real time basis before they ever reach your computer.
You: I'd be interested in purchasing the product, but only from a REAL representative.
You: Vile Witch!!!!!
You: You deceive me so!!!!!!
You: You only offer me ways to spend my money!
You: In order to REALLY conserve it, I shouldn't buy your product you demon-program
You: Egads Woman, hast thou fainted?!
You: AAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Now, sometime during this, I get hit up a second time. I was enraged.
Amy Says: Hey wait! We hate to see you go. So we'd like to offer you a $5.00 discount for purchasing the full version of The Shield Professional 2006™ now. That's just 24.99 to keep your computer virus free. It's a great value!
Amy Says: Please type 'HI' or 'HELLO' in the space below to let me know you are there...
Amy Says: That's just 24.99 to keep your computer virus and hacker free. It's a great value! CLICK HERE
Amy Says: Just let me know you are there...
Amy Says: Whenever you are ready, just type 'HI' or 'HELLO' and we can get started...
Amy Says: Just type 'HI' in the space below...
Amy Says: This will only take a few moments.
You: Really?
You: Twice, bitch?
Amy Says: Remember when you invest in the full version of The Shield Professional you can fix an UNLIMITED number of viruses and receive free virus updates for an entire year!
Amy Says: I am authorized to offer you $5 off! Just CLICK HERE
You: Remember me? Type Zounds.
Amy Says: This is a limited time offer for the price of $24.99 that I am authorized to give you.
You: You devil bot-woman!
Amy Says: Can I interest you in this limited time offer?
You: Why dost thee tempt me so!?
You: Oh most certainly.
Amy Says: Professional 2006 ™, using Hauri® technology for virus protection, accurately detects and repairs viruses with its fully optimized and separated antivirus engine for Macro, Script and Windows viruses.
Amy Says: For customer support or any questions, please CLICK HERE.
You: Yes yes, we all know about the Macro, Script and Windows viruses
Amy Says: It is distinguished from the other Antivirus tools by its high-speed scanning capability. It also scans and cleans email messages on a real time basis before they ever reach your computer.
You: u r not reel!1
Amy Says: Okay great. CLICK HERE and fill out the page in order to take advantage of this last-minute price reduction.
You: So, stupid bot-bitch, I'm going to post this on n00bfest.com (the greatest place around!!!) and you'll look like a damn fool!!!!
You: Or.....well, I will, but I'm okay with that.
Amy Says: Act now! You are just a click away from a virus free computer. CLICK HERE.
You: YOU ACT NOW!!!!!! You are just a dick-suck away from a paycheck!
You: Say something simple, like, "I'm Amy, I'm a representative for -insert company title here- and I want to take your money!!!!!"
You: BURN IN HELL ROBOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You: KeKeKeKeKEKeKeKEKEKEKEKeKEKEKEKEKEKEKeKEKEKE
You: End scene.
Trust me, I know how stupid and long this is, but, it was fun for me.
_________________Jonn "ApoKolypse" Leonard www.twitch.tv/45Bananas
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