only in america...
Body: Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER????

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

~~~~

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how??...)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion.)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on
body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or
operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and... I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
only."
(as opposed to...what?)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals."
(..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to repost this message for others to read

That is so stupid.

i second what ocelot said.. very stupid

why is it that a circular pizza comes in a sq box?


how is it that we can put a man on the moon before we figure out it might be a good idea to put wheels on the bottom of our luggage bags?

hahah. That's good. I enjoyed reading that. :wink:

That last group is obvious. They were made for stupid people, like the one spilling coffee on her lap at Mcdonalds. It's common sense that it was going to be hot, yet she's rewarded millions of dollars so they have to put dumb warning labels like that on now. Here's of few more:

Do blind people feel 'Love at first sight'?

Can you freeze anti-freeze?

Do blind people have dreams? if they do, do they know what they are seeing?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

what happens when you get scared half to death twice?

Why do teachers need answer books?

If 'practice makes perfect' and 'nobodies perfect', why bother practicing?

Why do people yell heads up when something is flying towards your
head?

Gay x's 2.

Only in America: I just spent $60 putting 20 gallons of fuel in my truck.

I like these, gj person with the truffle shuffle avatar


The only one I can't answer on the "Ever wonder why..." section is:

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

you mean... Only in America: You have a truck that isn't carrying nuclear bombs


or is it...?...

Gas overseas is actually more expensive except for like saudi arabia.

Yeah but I don't care about anyone else.

And my father does happen to be a nuclear engineer. DUN DUN DUUUUUUN

so funny cuz its so true lol.

America is a better place to live then most other countries. Those were pretty funny, though.

Sometimes I think Ocelot is an assbag, sometimes I think he's a god.

old, i saw these almost a year ago...

Some stuff was good other stuff was gay.

And for the record, shibby, if you don't like America, go back to Mexico!

:D

i am french ass....i was born here......and i love my country other wise i would not have served it

thats good, it makes you wonder

owned.

$8/gallon in England.