It seems like this is something that's been on your mind a bit. I think that you should just sit down and talk to her. Tell her how you feel, and talk about why you've done the things that you've done. I'm sure she at least has a feeling as to why you've acted the way you have, so the best thing you could do is be honest--clear the air. You don't have anything to lose. Get what needs to be said, said; be honest, and get on with your life.