Forum rules
- n00bfest is not the special olympics. It is a gaming community. Do not act like n00bfest is a retard daycare or you will be punished. - Outright flames and flamebaiting will be punished. - Even if you are not an adult, do your best to act like one. - *NEW* Political/Religious News and NSFW posts do not belong here. Use the Videos, Links, Political/Religious News Discussion Forum- Punishments range from warnings to permanent forum/gameserver bans.
|
Page 1 of 1
|
[ 14 posts ] |
|
| Author |
Message |
|
CLOROX
Game Server Admin
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2010 3:02 pm Posts: 1822 Location: Sarasota Florida
|
 Funny Jokes
Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat! LOL There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge." LOLOL Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava? LOLOL What do you call a black man driving a helicopter? Blackhawk down LOL What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax. lawl why did the 11 year old boy stick his head in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming. MORE ANTI-JOKES AVAILABLE AT http://anti-joke.com/These are sarcastic do not get offended
_________________ Total posts: 1337
|
| Tue May 31, 2011 12:56 pm |
|
 |
|
trial
Game Server Admin
Joined: Sun Jan 30, 2011 1:21 pm Posts: 220
|
 Re: Funny Jokes
how do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat?
when she starts wearing your wife's clothes
|
| Tue May 31, 2011 2:08 pm |
|
 |
|
Goodkat
[n00b] Member
Joined: Sun Jun 15, 2008 11:00 pm Posts: 1282 Location: upinya
|
 Re: Funny Jokes
trial wrote: how do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat?
when she starts wearing your wife's clothes LOL'D
_________________
|
| Tue May 31, 2011 3:13 pm |
|
 |
|
SuperEffect
n00bfest Retired Ancient, Senior Admin
Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2004 11:00 pm Posts: 1944 Location: Parts unknown
|
 Re: Funny Jokes
The funniest thing was you adding the laugh track with the "lol's".
_________________ F*CK you,pay me!
|
| Tue May 31, 2011 8:12 pm |
|
 |
|
supafly
[n00b] Member
Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2006 11:00 pm Posts: 306 Location: Frederick MD
|
 Re: Funny Jokes
Three guys walk into a bar, The fourth guys ducks.
|
| Wed Jun 01, 2011 7:27 am |
|
 |
|
Downfall
Forum Newbie
Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2011 3:20 am Posts: 4
|
 Re: Funny Jokes
an 18 year old italian girl tells her mom she missed her period for the last 2 months. very worried the mother goes out and buys a pregnancy kit, and the test shows her daughter is in fact preggers.
Shouting, cursing, stomping the mother says " who the hell was this pig that did this to you? i wanna know!" the daughter picks up the phone and a half hour later a ferrari pulls up in front of the house. A mature, well dressed man steps out of the car and walks into the house. as he sits down in the living room with both parents and the daughter he begins to tell them...
" Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the situation, i can't marry her because of my family situation, but i will take charge. i will pay for all costs and provide for your daughter as long as she lives. additionally, if a girl is born i will bequeath a ferrari, beach house, 2 retail stores, and a 2 million dollar bank account. if a boy is born, my legacy for him will be a couple of factories and 4 million dollar bank account. if it is twins, they shall both recieve a retail store and 2 million dollars."
"However" the man continued " if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest i do"
at that moment the father stands up and approaches the gentleman. putting one hand firmly on his shoulder he says " You F**k Her Again"
|
| Sat Jun 11, 2011 6:42 pm |
|
 |
|
Korg63
[n00b] Member
Joined: Sun May 15, 2011 12:24 am Posts: 405
|
 Re: Funny Jokes
^^^ HAHAHAHAHA LOL
_________________
|
| Sat Jun 11, 2011 6:52 pm |
|
 |
|
Coach
One-Eyed Elder, Senior Admin
Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2007 11:00 pm Posts: 4936 Location: Gardendale, Texas
|
 Re: Funny Jokes
Downfall wrote: an 18 year old italian girl tells her mom she missed her period for the last 2 months. very worried the mother goes out and buys a pregnancy kit, and the test shows her daughter is in fact preggers.
Shouting, cursing, stomping the mother says " who the hell was this pig that did this to you? i wanna know!" the daughter picks up the phone and a half hour later a ferrari pulls up in front of the house. A mature, well dressed man steps out of the car and walks into the house. as he sits down in the living room with both parents and the daughter he begins to tell them...
" Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the situation, i can't marry her because of my family situation, but i will take charge. i will pay for all costs and provide for your daughter as long as she lives. additionally, if a girl is born i will bequeath a ferrari, beach house, 2 retail stores, and a 2 million dollar bank account. if a boy is born, my legacy for him will be a couple of factories and 4 million dollar bank account. if it is twins, they shall both recieve a retail store and 2 million dollars."
"However" the man continued " if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest i do"
at that moment the father stands up and approaches the gentleman. putting one hand firmly on his shoulder he says " You F**k Her Again" I like this one, heheh. That'd be me, lol.
_________________Sir, have you been drinking tonight? 
|
| Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:08 pm |
|
 |
|
Zander
[n00b] Member
Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 6:51 pm Posts: 584
|
 Re: Funny Jokes
I have got a whole bunch of dead baby jokes but they can be a little excessive...
i used one in my app to be a [dr]...
what's the difference between a watermelon and a dead baby...
one's fun to smash the other is a watermelon
_________________ "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will hurt forever."
|
| Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:16 pm |
|
 |
|
KuNg_Fu
[n00b] Member
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 12:00 am Posts: 846 Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
|
 Re: Funny Jokes
How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? with a pitchfork.
What's more more gross than a truck full of dead babies? The one on the bottom trying to eat it's way out.
_________________
|
| Sun Jun 12, 2011 1:31 am |
|
 |
|
Zander
[n00b] Member
Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 6:51 pm Posts: 584
|
 Re: Funny Jokes
KuNg_Fu wrote: How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? with a pitchfork.
What's more more gross than a truck full of dead babies? The one on the bottom trying to eat it's way out. LOL I have a different version of that one :D whats worse than a dead baby in a trash can...10 dead babies in a trash can...whats worse than that...100 dead babies in a trash can...whats worse than that...there is one live baby on the bottom eating its way to the top
_________________ "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will hurt forever."
|
| Sun Jun 12, 2011 1:40 am |
|
 |
|
CPTReynolds
Game Server Admin
Joined: Thu Dec 04, 2008 12:00 am Posts: 4380 Location: Doing your Mom while your sister waits her turn!
|
 Re: Funny Jokes
What's red and gooey and knocks on the glass? A baby in a microwave... What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage bag? One dead baby in ten garbage bags... How do you stop a bunch of black children from jumping on the bed? Velcro the ceiling..... How do you get them down? Invite some Mexicans over for a pinyata party... What do you call 500,000 black people skydiving? An eclipse... How do you kill a Mexican? Smash the toilet seat on his head when he comes to take a drink... How do you get a one armed Mexican out of a tree? Wave... What do you call a woman with a wooden leg? Ilene... What do you call an asian woman with a wooden leg? Irene... What do you call a paki woman with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick... Why does NASA have female astronauts? 50lbs light then a dish washer...
_________________ N00bfest Admin / Professional Rager / Ah lets face it I'm an ASSHOLE! Delta Company Δ - Former Leader (Strange that basterd took it back) cptreynolds@n00bfest.com
|
| Sun Jun 12, 2011 2:13 am |
|
 |
|
Korg63
[n00b] Member
Joined: Sun May 15, 2011 12:24 am Posts: 405
|
 Re: Funny Jokes
CPTReynolds wrote: Why does NASA have female astronauts? 50lbs light then a dish washer... This one's the best. Hahaha A woman gets hit by a man in his car. Who's fault is it? Answer #1) The woman's because why was she outside of the kitchen? Answer #2) The man's because why was he driving in the kitchen?
_________________
|
| Sun Jun 12, 2011 3:14 am |
|
 |
|
Cyning of Scedenig
Not Worthy of [n00b]
Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 4:17 am Posts: 2079 Location: California
|
 Re: Funny Jokes
CPTReynolds wrote: What's red and gooey and knocks on the glass? A baby in a microwave... What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage bag? One dead baby in ten garbage bags... How do you stop a bunch of black children from jumping on the bed? Velcro the ceiling..... How do you get them down? Invite some Mexicans over for a pinyata party... What do you call 500,000 black people skydiving? An eclipse... How do you kill a Mexican? Smash the toilet seat on his head when he comes to take a drink... How do you get a one armed Mexican out of a tree? Wave... What do you call a woman with a wooden leg? Ilene... What do you call an asian woman with a wooden leg? Irene... What do you call a paki woman with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick... Why does NASA have female astronauts? 50lbs light then a dish washer... Haahahahaha
_________________
|
| Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:28 pm |
|
 |
|
|
Page 1 of 1
|
[ 14 posts ] |
|
Who is online |
Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 11 guests |
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum You cannot reply to topics in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot post attachments in this forum
|
|