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Reply to topic  [ 17 posts ] 
 If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here. 
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One-Eyed Elder, Senior Admin
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Joined: Wed Oct 31, 2007 11:00 pm
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Location: Gardendale, Texas
Post If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
Yo momma is so fat she uses the highway for a slippin' slide
Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo momma so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo momma so fat when she wears red the neighborhood kids shout "Koolaid! Koolaid!"
Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to ****ign names to her *****s!!!
Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo Momma so fat she stood on a scale, and the scales life flashed before it eyes
Yo momma so fat when she turn around it's her birthday.
Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
Yo momma so fat when she turn around it's her birthday
Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo momma so fat the ****** is just FAT.
Yo momma so fat were in her right now
Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo momma so fat last time she saw 90210 she was looking down at her scale!
Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo momma so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo momma so fat she has to screw on her underware.
Yo mamma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up.
Yo mamma so fat she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yo mamma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
Yo mamma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell, "Taxi!"
Yo mamma so fat she has to iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo mamma so fat the National Weather Bureau has to ****ign hurricane names to her *****s.
Yo mamma so fat she sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mamma so fat that her senior pictures had to be aerial views.
Yo mamma so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride her.
Yo mamma so fat she has her own area code.
Yo mamma so fat that when she sat on a quarter a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.
Yo mamma so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs
Yo mamma so fat Her mailbox says Home of the Whopper.
Yo mamma so fat Last time she saw 90210 it was on the scale!!!!
Yo mamma so fat When she walked in front of the TV you missed 5 minutes of your show.
Yo mamma so fat when truckers p**** her by they say to themselves "who the hell's driving that rig"
Yo mamma so fat When her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mamma so fat Her nickname is "DAMN"
Yo mamma so fat She eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mamma so fat We're in her right now
Yo mamma so fat People jog around her for exercise
Yo mamma so fat She went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mamma so fat She has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mamma so fat You haveta roll over twice to get off her...
Yo mamma so fat She was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for then new world
Yo mamma so fat She lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mamma so fat When you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mamma so fat When she has sex, she has to give directions!
Yo mamma so fat She goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"
Yo mamma so fat When she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mamma so fat She had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mamma so fat She got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mamma so fat She put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mamma so fat She got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo mamma so fat When she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo mamma so fat When she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mamma so fat The highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo mamma so fat When she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mamma so fat When she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo mamma so fat When she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mamma so fat She fell in love and broke it.
Yo mamma so fat When she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mamma so fat When she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo mamma so fat Her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo mamma so fat She's got her own area code!
Yo mamma so fat She looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo mamma so fat God couldn't light Earth till she moved!
Yo mamma so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mamma so fat Whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mamma so fat When she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
Yo mamma so fat She's got AMTRAK written on her leg.
Yo mamma so fat Even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo mamma so fat Her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!
Yo mamma so fat You have to roll her **** in flour and look for the wet spot to **** her!
Yo mamma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the ******es good side!
Yo mamma so fat She wakes up in sections!
Yo mamma so fat When she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mamma so fat She sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose./li>
Yo mamma so fat She was mistaken for God's bowling ball!
Yo mamma so fat She rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo mamma so fat When she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mamma so fat When she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo mamma so fat When she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo mamma so fat She's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo mamma so fat That her senior pictures had to be aerial views!
Yo mamma so fat She's on both sides of the family!
Yo mamma so fat Every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mamma so fat She fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mamma so fat She sat on the beach and Green peace threw her in!
Yo mamma so fat That when she hauls ****, she has to make two trips!
Yo mamma so fat Even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mamma so fat She has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo mamma so fat She has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo mamma so fat She broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo mamma so fat When she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearing tights!
Yo mamma so fat She got hit by a parked car!
Yo mamma so fat They have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mamma so fat She has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo mamma so fat When she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mamma so fat When she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo mamma so fat They use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo mamma so fat When they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Yo mamma so fat When she back up she beep.
Yo mamma so fat She has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mamma so fat When she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo mamma so fat She influences the tides.
Yo mamma so fat That when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mamma so fat She broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Yo mamma so fat The animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mamma so fat She was baptized at Marine World.
Yo mamma so fat When she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mamma so fat Yo mamma so fat The Aids quilt wouldn't cover her
Yo mamma so fat She stands in two time zones.
Yo mamma so fat It takes her two trips to haul ****
Yo mamma so fat You have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
Yo mamma so fat When the ****** goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mamma so fat That she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mamma so fat Sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mamma so fat She cant reach her back pocket.
Yo mamma so fat When she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mamma so fat She lays on the beach and green peace tried to push her back in the water
Yo mamma so fat She uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo mamma so fat The only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo mamma so fat She put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo mamma so fat She stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mamma so fat She uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mamma so fat That when she sits on the beach, Green peace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
Yo mamma so fat That she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, the ****** caused an eclipse.
Yo mamma so fat She hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo mamma so fat She was baptized in the ocean.
Yo mamma so fat They tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mamma so fat When she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo mamma so fat When she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mamma so fat That when was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mamma so fat The National Weather Agency has to ****ign names to her *****s!!!
Yo mamma so fat We went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Yo mamma so fat She was Miss Arizona -- cl**** Battleship
Yo mamma so fat She accidentally got a 747 caught in her teeth
Yo mamma so fat To her "light food" means under 4 Tons
Yo mamma so fat The Himalayas are practices runs to prepare for her
Yo mamma so fat She went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!!
Yo mamma so fat She stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get the hell off!!!
Yo mamma so fat And stupid, her waist size is larger than her IQ!!!
Yo mamma so fat She was zoned for commercial development
Yo mamma so fat She won "Miss Bessie the Cow 94"
Yo mamma so fat She has her own zip code.
Yo mamma so fat She wears two watches because she's in two time zones!
Let's get off the momma jokes, after all I got of your momma.

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Wed Jul 14, 2010 1:43 am
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
i think you missed one yo mammas so fat the uses the titanic for a tampon

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Wed Jul 14, 2010 7:46 am
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Joined: Thu Apr 29, 2004 11:00 pm
Posts: 5609
Location: Yo mama's room, Bitch!
Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
I like Luff jokes.. like:

Luff so fat he can't fit through double doors on Aztec
Luff so fat he jumped through window on Dust2 and got stuck
Luff so fat the main building of cs_assault was built around him
Luff so fat it costs 16000 for armor alone
Luff so fat he takes up 24 slots in a server and it crashes every time he tries to jump
Luff so fat he can't play B on dust2 in scrims because when he crosses it takes 3.27 seconds from the beginning of his model to the end for him to cross
Luff so fat his health starts at 43 and he randomly dies because he has a heart attack mid round from all the running around
Luff so fat he can only play outside on nuke
Luff so fat instead of shooting barrels at the door to block it, they shoot him
Luff so fat every time at teammate calls an enemy at twinkie, Luff gets really mad because it's not him
Luff so fat his team has to turn ragdolls off, because every time he dies he creates an earthquake
Luff so fat that he lost a little weight, just enough to jump, and during the middle of a scrim he was so excited he got a kill he JUMPED WITH EXCITEMENT! at long A... Well... There is now a place called pit in long A.
Luff so fat he had a teammate named Mark, Mark tried to boost luff on a box and got crushed.. Mark is no longer with us and we aren't supposed to talk about it anymore. =(
Luff so fat when he runs with his knife out, he still can't keep up with a team full of paras
Luff so fat when he tries to defuse the bomb, he just sits on it and automatically wins
Luff so fat when he tried crossing the bridge on aztec, it broke
Luff so fat his STEAM id is actually his weight
Luff so fat he tried looking for a cheeseburger on the buy menu
Luff so fat he always goes CT on Italy so he can get to the market first and eat all the food
Luff so fat his team has to buy night-vision to see because he blocks all the light
Luff so fat he can only use dualies because his arms can't reach across his body to put 2 hands on any guns
Luff so fat he even tried to eat the chickens on Italy
Luff so fat he takes up the whole radar
Luff so fat I noscoped him on Chateau.. from Cbble!

and one ugly joke for the road..

Luff so ugly he can only play T on office, because the hostages won't follow him as a CT.


♥ ya Luff!

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icemaN: i was droppin wards like they were turds


Wed Jul 14, 2010 8:08 am
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
EPIC!

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Wed Jul 14, 2010 8:23 am
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
i read the title of this thread too quick and thought it said "If you're running short on Jo Mamma jokes"

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Wed Jul 14, 2010 8:36 am
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
lol, good ones!

Poor luff haha


Wed Jul 14, 2010 8:59 am
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
lawl i thought it said Jo mamma to wow i actually just scrolled back up to see if it did really say Yo mamma...also Luff jokes ftw

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Wed Jul 14, 2010 9:05 am
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
The CSs ones are just awesome.

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Wed Jul 14, 2010 10:56 am
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
LOLOLOL poor luff if only he stopped eating a thousand McDoughnuts a day.
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Wed Jul 14, 2010 1:19 pm
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
LOL<3 SPYDA
That made me laugh my ass off

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Wed Jul 14, 2010 4:13 pm
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
BLEEP WTF IS THAT AND WHERE CAN I GET ONE. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAW!

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Fri Jul 16, 2010 6:57 am
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
LOL! http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/06/03/broadcasts/main1680067.shtml

Jus make it yourself mmmmmmmmmmmmmm thats a true heart attack

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Fri Jul 16, 2010 8:17 am
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
Spyda, that offically made my day. if you have anymore of those, please post them.

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Fri Jul 16, 2010 9:31 am
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
lol nice on the is cost 16000 for armor alone...lol


Mon Jul 19, 2010 3:05 pm
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
Dam... Luff just got owned and degraded!!!

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Tue Jul 20, 2010 12:16 am
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
provicey wrote:
lol nice on the is cost 16000 for armor alone...lol


Jesus Christ! Engrish 101

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icemaN: i was droppin wards like they were turds


Tue Jul 20, 2010 5:18 am
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Post Re: If you're running short on Yo Mama jokes, check here.
i got more.

Yo mamma is so fat she puts on lipstick with a paint roller.
Yo mamma is so ugly she went into a haunted house and came back out with a pay check.
Yo mamma is so ugly in the strip club they pay her to put her clothes on!
Yo mamma is so hairy the only language she speaks is wookie!!
Yo mamma is so gay she makes Luff look straight!
Yo mamma is so fat when she put on a blue dress and everyone screamed " the sky is falling! "
Yo mamma is so stupid she got hit by a train and said " who threw that rock? "
Yo mamma is so fat when she stepped on a scale it said " i dont do trucks "
Yo mamma is so ugly when i took her to the zoo the staff said " thank you for returning him "
Yo mamma is so fat she irons her pants on the driveway!
Yo mamma is so fat she doesnt need to dig a hole to china, she justs turns around!
Yo mamma is so fat when she tripped on 1st street and landed in 56th.
Yo mamma is so ugly when she goes to work she gets paid to lay face down.
Yo mamma is so ugly i heard her mom put a bag over her head before she kissed her good night!
Yo mamma is so ugly when she was born her mom said " what a treasure! " and the dad said " yeah lets go bury it "
Yo mamma is so ugly when she was born the doctor slapped her parents!
Yo mamma is so fat not even NFL would take her. (NFL = National Fat Losers )


Tue Jul 20, 2010 12:01 pm
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