F*CKING high tides man, almost died. So there I is, fragging on de_Tides blitzed, when I saw my pocket knife falling through the air in front of my face. The blade sped toward its terminal velocity until sudden deceleration; the tip of the blade pressed the space bar down. *CRACK* The freshly sharpened blade penetrated plastic on the space bar, and the knife became lodged into my keyboard.
I did the only sensible thing; I screamed and jumped back knocking my desk chair over. Thank goodness I used scroll wheel to jump, or else my attempt to climb to that gay wall in CT spawn would have resulted in bloodshed. Or even worst, if gravity decided to drop that knife over the edge when I was focusing on making a long shot. I literally get my face inches away from my monitor, and that knife would have come down right on my head or back of neck.

I had to take some pictures… gravity 1, keyboard 0, me :o

shitty camera so i tried to circle/point out the knife...

HOLY SHIT !!!!

Dodging knifes in CSS and real life! GJ bro, but next time, use common sense :P [do a barrel roll] but srsly dont sharpen knifes them leave them high than you are sitting.

Good advice ResinCactus. As a man who also leaves knives in random places in my bedroom, I'm at risk of this happening but fortunately I keep them a bit lower toward the ground.

ya when I'm drinking any common sense goes out the window. Instead I am filled with an overwhelming urge to defy all logic and do something ridiculous. Last night I also broke through my kitchen door at some point. I don't remember when or why, but today my shoulder does. And after trying really hard to not be in a sexual relationship with someone I'm living with, I banged the the supposedly "lesbian" roommate. Unfortunately my dick is like cigarettes, once I give it to someone its often not easy for them to give it up. some of the shit she was saying this morning.... ahhhhhh! I just got divorced I don’t need this!

Women are money vacuums. Even though you try to find the best ones, all they do is suck. They simultaneously suck your dick while while sucking every last penny out of your bank account And in the end what do they give you in return? Dirt, dust, hairs, and other gross stuff that you just end up flushing down the toilet like you do a shit. Rant…

Moral of the story, drugs are not always good.

lol mine doesnt suck my money, just something else ;)

and when i drink i am still the same guy, so sounds like you need a better tolerance

supposed lez lol !

oh and what kinda drugs

lol I had a good sized smorgasbord of things in my system that contributed to me getting more drug and blacking out. And i did some Molly, and a whole lot a Mary. I really stopped drinking heavily when I turned 21. It got old and i had a love affair with a girl named Luci.

This sounds serious, but I think I have some advice that will help you in the future.

1. That looks like a pocket knife. Pocket knives are famous for their inherent ability to FOLD SHUT. Yeah, you can hide that little blade inside the handle instead of being a badass and stabbing it into your obviously home-made piece of shit desk/shelf setup.

2. I saw your little steelers fan you made there. Cute. But gay. Your knife may be less inclined to kill you if you went ahead and took that down. Also I'd think more of you.

3. I can see from your desk that you are left-handed. Everyone knows God hates left-handed people, which is why "sinister" is the Latin word for left-handed people. It's probably too late for you, but like I read on a bumper sticker today, "God allows YOU turns..." so yeah, make an effort and maybe the holy spirit wont fling anymore knives at your dumb ass.

4.A lesbian? Really? You know why girls become lesbians, right? Because they have STDs. She probably couldn't tell you were a man and that's how you two ended up in bed together, and that's why she was raving about your dick this morning, SHE HAD NO IDEA IT WAS THERE.

5. I see a guitar in the background there. Hopefully you're better at that than you are at CSS. Playing that will help you get some clean, non-lesbo punanner. Especially if you play some gay shit girls like. Try bright eyes.

Maybe I'm a bitter asshole, but I'm recently divorced as well so I know you need a dose of harsh reality. So there it is. See you on the server ♥

its ok unfaggable ♥ lol left handedness

LOL! F*CK reality, DREAM!

First off, I'm not left handed. For some reason that picture is flipped, so you are seeing a mirror image of my desk.

Look there are some things I can, and can't take. I don't care if you talk shit on my penis, or my favorite football team. Because when it comes down to it my dick is always gonna be big, and the Steelers are going to continue to stock pile Superbowl rings like pirates building up riches. By the way, I've been friends with this girl since high school. she had one boyfriend in high school, came out of the closet, and started dating chicks. She has successful relationships with women, idk if that means she has an STD. But, she has only had sex with 1 other guy not including me. Shit is so tight i don't care if i got AIDs, syphilis, gonorrhea, and tomorrow I get hit by a truck, totally worth it.

Ya I've been playing guitar for several years. I also play cello, bass, drums, piano, and the harmonica. Music is a big part of my life. I probably am a better guitarist then Counter Strike Player, at least from the prospective that I have made a lot more money playing guitar then playing source. I used to live in Ocean City Maryland for weeks on end, playing guitar on the boardwalk for tips all day. And by night i partied and blew all my money on bitches and drugs. Anyways on any given day I could make between $20-200 a day, depending who I impressed. Most I ever made from CSS was like $30. Not even money either, just money saved when sponsors would pay for our servers and league fees. I easily spent more money on league fees and servers the I saved.

I think the reason she "raved" about my dick, is because she cam buckets until she could keep going. I didn't even nut cause I was rollin' face.

There is one think I cannot let go. You do NOT MAKE FUN OF ANOTHER MANS HANDMADE FURNITURE. it took a lot of heart, skill, and man hours for me to construct a divider in the empty case of beer. THOSE TWO CUBBIES WERE MY LIVELY-HOOD GODDAMMIT! YOU INSULT MY CARDBOARD FURNITURE YOU INSULT MY PASSION! BEG FOR FORGIVENESS! NOW!

Now unstawpable, remember a maybe is just a baby that needs tender loving care to become a yes. You know haterade is bitter... So stop sippin' on that hate and let your love resonate! I know you are a real sweaty at heart. ♥
I stay way to high to be bogged down by your "harsh realities". reality is just perspective... who is to say what is real or not? I create my own reality.

btw 2 single, recently divorced counter strike addicts... We could do some dirty things together ;)

I must admit, I do like a man who can erect hard wood on his own with just his hands ;)


And thank god you're not left handed, WORSE THAN AIDS!

I'm left handed but I play guitar/golf/pool/with my balls/pc games with my right hand.

I am left handed, when i watch porn, being a right handed pc gamer :D

HEY !!!! WHAT THE F*CK!, what kinda pistol is that? airsoft Desert eagle?

HOLYSHIT! YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE! Lol not your time yet !! enjoy life for now!

I attempted to read this whole thread and all the posts... I tried... I really really F*CKING tried... but when I realized the only 3 people posting in this was Kwang, Resin and Americans? (sp?) I realized I would only lose brain cells and probably... well idk what else I would do but click on but god damn you guys could make a night of scrolling through the n00bfest forums actually annoying.

Don't worry Hito

We don't plan to upset you :) also congrats!

Cool story Bro. glad you are ok . oh, don't lesbians use things much larger than penises for penitration/pleasure? i do believe so. anywho congrats on the ass, guess you needed it. The best part is you don't remember it. oh and i hear your also getting with my gf Molly, um i guess we can share, because Molly was made to share and licking your fingers after dipping your fingers in that bitch is the best;)
homeade furniture is so awesome, but it is something you should be asshamed of ;)