So as many of you know I have been put on felony probation for beating some dudes ass on spring break of 2010 so this is kinda my reunion weekend! gay!
Any who I was caught drinking, smoking chronic and doing oxy's on Aug. 19th of 2011 and I spent 3 months in Co. Jail which is worse than prison in my county!, and was forced to take a drug and alcohol evaluation at that point to keep my sweet lil ass from going to prison! for probation violation. I was supposed to go to treatment in Oct. but needed to keep working so I pushed it back until NOW! I was fortuante enough to get my suspended imposition re-instated so once my probationary period is complete this charge will be expunged off my record and I won't be a felon and can hunt and leave the country and all that FREE-dom shit agian.
I took 6 months to prove to myself that I was getting clean of drugs and alcohol for myself, to change my life for the better for me, not just to keep myself from prison and not to just be able to get by anymore, and not just for some p.o. or some councelor; sure for my family and friends but more importantly to do something for myself-by-myself with my own will power and to CHANGE MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER for ME.
I was so lost in my life , i failed at my dream (pro hockey player, and trust me I was there, but drugs man F*CKING DRUGS and a ocean of booze,) and i choose to punish myself for my failure and for letting my family and friends down by doing tons of drugs and just basically trying to kill myself from the inside. PURE HEARTBREAK and Pain in my SOUL and utmost embarresment and shame.
SO now that I have started to look at life from a different perspective and i understand that you don't have to be famous and rich to have a great life and to enjoy all the little things in life that I took for granted, and I have things/goals I want to accomplish again. I am going to check myself in for 28 days of inpatient treatment at our local hospital.
It's been a long time since I actually cared about myself or my family or friends or anyone. And to see so many of my friends starting their families and careers I feel so worthless and left behind.. Like i have to work 10x as hard to catch up, yet I know that i'm doing what I need to be doing, understanding myself and becoming who I am , A guy who had everything and fucked it up and threw it away, so blindly and foolishly. Now I quit hiding and punishing myself and stop being asshamed and Become someone once again and prove to myself that I can be someone that people can look up to again and Be Proud of And To be PROUD of MYSELF.
I'm listening to the band railroad earth and the song- railroad earth(www.soundcloud.com/klinkel)<-my profile favs'. list.. and I can't help it but i'm balling, it's been so long since i've cried. I guess i'm finally telling the truth about myself and I think this might be the first time since i can remember that i've listened to myself or even talked about my failure to anyone. I just hope that once i'm out of treatment my life will start to make sense again. I know its going to be a long struggle for years to come since I have until 2015 until I officially get off probation but i may get off sooner like 2014. I can't go into bars and if i go to a resturaunt i must leave by 9pm.. Since every eatery in SD has a Fuckng Bar in it.
I am glad that you'll are here for me to vent t0 and hopefully you can understand me and where I am at in life, Who I am , and why!
So I go in on Sat. 3/10/12 for 28 days, i am so stressed out about this. I am frantically trying to organize my business taxes and I am realizing that I am fuckt. I need to work for another month to be able to pay in what i need to. SO i'm either making false claims or i'm going to Get Fucked by the IRS. Please say some prayers and cast some wishes my way. I'll be thinking about our n00bfest community and thinking bout gaming the whole time im in there so Thanks for listening and I will catch up with you all very soon!

Damn dude that sucks with what has happen but also its awesome that you have figured this out on your own and that you are doing this for yourself and not anyone else...best of luck and hope for the best.

DUBz.........................................................................D

Prisons and jails are very different. If I were you I would be very happy that you were not in prison, jail is only a stepping stone to prison.

Good luck on getting your head straight. I have a sister in-law that is popping pills like crazy, I hope she gets busted soon. The Army wasn't enough to straighten her out so my only hope is jail time.

Stay strong man. Everything will work itself out.

And hey, maybe you'll meet a celebrity while your there. I heard that Lohan chick goes on a monthly basis.

Good luck Dubz! I've seen too many people follow the path of drugs, and it's depressing to see where it leads. It's great to hear that you are pushing yourself down a better path. Just set some stepping stone goals towards an ultimate goal, and make your way through them one at a time. When you succeed, you'll definitely be someone worth looking up to in my book. Make succeeding your new addiction.

I wish you the best of luck man!

good luck man... dont worry we will all still be here

that blows dude good luck!!!

IDK what prisons or jails you've seen, but I would take prison over county any day. Alot less politics and alot better quality of living.

Good luck DUBz

good luck man. I ope everything works out, Drugs and alcohol and be a huge barrier in your life and its hard to stop once you enter the zone. Stay clean and stay strong my friend

YOU CAN DO IT!

ALL 28 DAYS LONG

I'de agree to an extent. The reasons for making it to prison would probably look a lot worse that the reasons for making it to county(I mean on your record.) But the quality of living is a lot better in a prison...cell. Outside of the cell, county might be better. It's less likely in county to find someone with nothing to lose, that's willing to kill you for stepping on his shoe lace. But I know Clark County Jail(were I live) has a pretty high chance of being raped. Which isn't much different from Walla Walla State Pen(Washingtons worst prison. Also one of the worst in the country.) Wouldn't be to happy in either place. Much rather be free and do things correctly.

Do indeed be grateful and F*CK the pigs and court system anyway. Be careful, and just be glad you aren't in prison.

Nashville, that sig is F*CKING great. Gl dubz.

Oh how I miss the Original OC 80's...this OP shit is F*CKING stupid.

.. i hear that i tried cutting it up, nope. chewing it up, nope. gota just swallow that shit .. but that's behind me now!

Thanks Peeps for tha Support!