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 Funny Jokes 
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Post Funny Jokes
Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ?
Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it?
Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!
LOL


There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge.

Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born."

Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born."

Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

LOLOL



Jack: Hey, you know what sucks?
Jill: Vacuums
Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
Jill: Black holes
Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
Jill: Lava?

LOLOL


What do you call a black man driving a helicopter?

Blackhawk down

LOL



What did Roadrunner name his car?
Turbo Tax.

lawl

why did the 11 year old boy stick his head in a lawnmower

nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet


How did the blind man end up in the hospital?

He didnt see the bus coming.




MORE ANTI-JOKES AVAILABLE AT http://anti-joke.com/

These are sarcastic do not get offended

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Tue May 31, 2011 12:56 pm
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Post Re: Funny Jokes
how do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat?


when she starts wearing your wife's clothes


Tue May 31, 2011 2:08 pm
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Post Re: Funny Jokes
trial wrote:
how do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat?


when she starts wearing your wife's clothes


LOL'D

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Tue May 31, 2011 3:13 pm
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Post Re: Funny Jokes
The funniest thing was you adding the laugh track with the "lol's".

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Tue May 31, 2011 8:12 pm
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Post Re: Funny Jokes
Three guys walk into a bar,
The fourth guys ducks.


Wed Jun 01, 2011 7:27 am
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Post Re: Funny Jokes
an 18 year old italian girl tells her mom she missed her period for the last 2 months. very worried the mother goes out and buys a pregnancy kit, and the test shows her daughter is in fact preggers.

Shouting, cursing, stomping the mother says " who the hell was this pig that did this to you? i wanna know!" the daughter picks up the phone and a half hour later a ferrari pulls up in front of the house. A mature, well dressed man steps out of the car and walks into the house. as he sits down in the living room with both parents and the daughter he begins to tell them...

" Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the situation, i can't marry her because of my family situation, but i will take charge. i will pay for all costs and provide for your daughter as long as she lives. additionally, if a girl is born i will bequeath a ferrari, beach house, 2 retail stores, and a 2 million dollar bank account. if a boy is born, my legacy for him will be a couple of factories and 4 million dollar bank account. if it is twins, they shall both recieve a retail store and 2 million dollars."

"However" the man continued " if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest i do"

at that moment the father stands up and approaches the gentleman. putting one hand firmly on his shoulder he says " You F**k Her Again"


Sat Jun 11, 2011 6:42 pm
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Post Re: Funny Jokes
^^^
HAHAHAHAHA LOL

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Sat Jun 11, 2011 6:52 pm
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Post Re: Funny Jokes
Downfall wrote:
an 18 year old italian girl tells her mom she missed her period for the last 2 months. very worried the mother goes out and buys a pregnancy kit, and the test shows her daughter is in fact preggers.

Shouting, cursing, stomping the mother says " who the hell was this pig that did this to you? i wanna know!" the daughter picks up the phone and a half hour later a ferrari pulls up in front of the house. A mature, well dressed man steps out of the car and walks into the house. as he sits down in the living room with both parents and the daughter he begins to tell them...

" Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the situation, i can't marry her because of my family situation, but i will take charge. i will pay for all costs and provide for your daughter as long as she lives. additionally, if a girl is born i will bequeath a ferrari, beach house, 2 retail stores, and a 2 million dollar bank account. if a boy is born, my legacy for him will be a couple of factories and 4 million dollar bank account. if it is twins, they shall both recieve a retail store and 2 million dollars."

"However" the man continued " if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest i do"



at that moment the father stands up and approaches the gentleman. putting one hand firmly on his shoulder he says " You F**k Her Again"


I like this one, heheh. That'd be me, lol.

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Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:08 pm
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Post Re: Funny Jokes
I have got a whole bunch of dead baby jokes but they can be a little excessive...

i used one in my app to be a [dr]...

what's the difference between a watermelon and a dead baby...

one's fun to smash the other is a watermelon

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Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:16 pm
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Post Re: Funny Jokes
How do you unload a truck full of dead babies?
with a pitchfork.

What's more more gross than a truck full of dead babies?
The one on the bottom trying to eat it's way out.

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Sun Jun 12, 2011 1:31 am
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Post Re: Funny Jokes
KuNg_Fu wrote:
How do you unload a truck full of dead babies?
with a pitchfork.

What's more more gross than a truck full of dead babies?
The one on the bottom trying to eat it's way out.


LOL

I have a different version of that one :D

whats worse than a dead baby in a trash can...10 dead babies in a trash can...whats worse than that...100 dead babies in a trash can...whats worse than that...there is one live baby on the bottom eating its way to the top

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Sun Jun 12, 2011 1:40 am
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Post Re: Funny Jokes
What's red and gooey and knocks on the glass? A baby in a microwave...
What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage bag? One dead baby in ten garbage bags...
How do you stop a bunch of black children from jumping on the bed? Velcro the ceiling.....
How do you get them down? Invite some Mexicans over for a pinyata party...
What do you call 500,000 black people skydiving? An eclipse...
How do you kill a Mexican? Smash the toilet seat on his head when he comes to take a drink...
How do you get a one armed Mexican out of a tree? Wave...
What do you call a woman with a wooden leg? Ilene...
What do you call an asian woman with a wooden leg? Irene...
What do you call a paki woman with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick...
Why does NASA have female astronauts? 50lbs light then a dish washer...

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Sun Jun 12, 2011 2:13 am
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Post Re: Funny Jokes
CPTReynolds wrote:
Why does NASA have female astronauts? 50lbs light then a dish washer...

This one's the best. Hahaha

A woman gets hit by a man in his car. Who's fault is it?
Answer #1) The woman's because why was she outside of the kitchen?
Answer #2) The man's because why was he driving in the kitchen?

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Sun Jun 12, 2011 3:14 am
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Post Re: Funny Jokes
CPTReynolds wrote:
What's red and gooey and knocks on the glass? A baby in a microwave...
What's worse then ten dead babies in a garbage bag? One dead baby in ten garbage bags...
How do you stop a bunch of black children from jumping on the bed? Velcro the ceiling.....
How do you get them down? Invite some Mexicans over for a pinyata party...
What do you call 500,000 black people skydiving? An eclipse...
How do you kill a Mexican? Smash the toilet seat on his head when he comes to take a drink...
How do you get a one armed Mexican out of a tree? Wave...
What do you call a woman with a wooden leg? Ilene...
What do you call an asian woman with a wooden leg? Irene...
What do you call a paki woman with a wooden leg? Shit on a stick...
Why does NASA have female astronauts? 50lbs light then a dish washer...


Haahahahaha

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Sun Jun 12, 2011 5:28 pm
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