Dear Sexbombs,

I left Coach's place and made my way west towards Tuscon, AZ. I passed through two border patrol check points on I-20 before hitting Tuscon and arrived around 3 AM. I stopped by to hang out with Spork (yes, our very own living bro-legend). Tuscon sucks, but not quite as well as Spork. He gave me the best head I've ever gotten. Afterwards, he took me to some Taco Shack and we grubbed on Mexican food. I hit the road again at 5 AM when he pussed out and went to bed.

Around 6:30 AM I was talking to the sun, begging it to come up and warm my ass the F*CK up. I arrived in Yuma at 8 and met with my best friend Jeff who sometimes pops in here as Broonor. We spent a good week together until his pregnant wife kicked me out because she's a woman and really no other reason.

I then set sail to Los Angeles, CA. I arrived and called a gal I knew out there. Turns out she goes to school in Long Beach. Thus, I turned around and made my way to Long Beach and subsequently CSULB. She had a panic attack over some shit that happened between us in the past and I had to talk her through it. Afterwards she took me to the art department locker rooms and we drew all over the lockers. I made plenty of ":3"'s, "HAIL SATAN"'s, Optimus Prime Slaughterhouse drawings, and dicks. I even pissed on one of the lockers. Felt good, man.

Her mother eventually came to pick her up so she could get her passport and I headed to the closest Denny's to take a big shit. I came back out to find my truck F*CKING gone. I assumed it had gotten jacked - turns out they impounded it. If you happen to live out there and want a GMC Sonoma, feel free to try to get it from them. ♥

I proceed to walk from Long Beach to the Greyhound station in downtown LA. There I purchased a bus ticket to Brooklyn to see a bitch I had pounded a couple of times when she was still in Austin. I arrived in Brooklyn five days later and knocked on her apartment door. She opened it, told me she never wanted to see me again, and promptly shut and locked the door. I spent the next few weeks out in the freezing-balls cold of winter New York with only the shorts and t-shirt I was wearing when my truck was impounded.

I slept anywhere warm I could find and eventually befriended a couple of hippies. Hippies are F*CKING stupid. Seriously. If you ever need a quick save from a bad situation, these fucks are the best ones to take advantage of. One evening I hopped on their "communeputer" to check my email. There was one from my dad asking what time my Russian History exam was in the morning. I haven't taken that course in years. I immediately grabbed my phone and a gold necklace that these F*CKING morons had kept lying around and made my way to I-95. A few C*CK later, I found myself in Richmond, Virginia and pawned the necklace. It was enough for a hotel room and I must admit, that was one of the best showers (not to mention beds) of my life.

I got up the next day and after a few more C*CK, I found myself on Highway 280 in Birmingham, AL. My feet had enough left in them to get to my parents apartment complex. Needless to say, they were stunned.

My mother is still a huge bitch and my father is coming in to the early onset of Alzheimer's. I promised him long ago that I'd take care of my mother when he was no longer able to do it, so I'm here in Birmingham for a while.

Since then I've gotten a job stocking overnight at Wal-Mart and after an email exchange with Gabe Newell, I've enrolled at ITT Tech for their Game Design program to get a Bachelor's of Science and break in to the games industry in a few years.

Gman, Strange: No, I never made it to London. I just didn't want to admit that I lost feeling in my balls days prior to us talking.

So that's that. I'll still be mostly absent for a while as the only computer I have access to is a piece of shit and I've got a lot of work to do these days, but my love for y'all is still here.

If you're in or around Birmingham, hit a nigga the F*CK up and we'll hang out. ♥

You live in the darkest area of Alabama...Congrats. It sucks

♥.

Glad you're doin' alright.

Holy epic F*CKING shit. Its good to hear from you and know you're not dead, Angry.

TL:DR short version.. youre stilll the fag we love, you smacked a few hoes around and landed a job at the worst store in the history of man to work for... enjoy life ♥

Was it you that did the black people thing in wal-mart?

You lost the epic chance of a life time to hang out with me when you were in NY. Glad to know that you're still alive and kicking :) The game design school sounds great.

He said this to me on the phone.

Get stable, AFRICAN AMERICAN.

Glad to see you're ok. You should get your truck back, though, douche. They're going to auction that F*CKER off, and that thing is too bad ass to let go by the wayside.

♥ all.

And yeah, I want to get it back, but unfortunately that's going to involve time and money that I just don't have right now.

However, once I can afford a new (used off of craigslist) vehicle I will be making the Dreadnaught 2.0 complete with Drunk Tank logos.

God dammit I missed you!!!!

the forums arent the same without you

glad to have you back even if it is intermittent

i hate hippies too!!!


♥

This is why we love teh Kitten. ROFLMAOOTF

Hai! Get back online and play soon.

I knew he wasn't dead

Come back soon bro, nice to hear from ya.

Always glad to know that you're alright, Kitten...be safe.

I miss you F*CKER, glad to hear from you.

I wish my life was as F*CKING eventful as yours, mine lately consists of going to Kansas and than going back to North Dakota sitting on my ass and jacking off.

Brand is like minutes from you.But he will most likely drive by your house then call you about 5 miles up the road and say its too far to turn around and say ill catch you next time like he did me.

thats all ive been doing since i got out of the hospital, its pretty much the life lawl

kitten,

dont do that again, at least not without a backup plan

that is all