Okay guys, I can't resort to asking any of my other girl friends, because they all have connections back to the girl, nor can I talk to the guys, because they can never give a serious straight answer, so I'm asking n00bfest here. Please, only serious answers here.


There's this girl named Terri, who's the godsister of my best friend, Yohan. I met her last year over the summer, when I went to chill with Yoh, and he decided to bring her along. It was a casual thing, so nothing big, usual dinner and movie, then the walk to see the downtown lights, and late subway ride home. I found out alot about her though, and she pretty much is a emotional girl, who's pretty fragile. She's more or less pretty emo, just not true emo yet. She cries about having no friends, but when someone starts getting close to her, she starts ignoring them. I think this is because she doesn't know what a true friend can be.

Seeing this, I promised my friend Yoh that I'd watch over her, no matter what. This is where it gets complicated. She's my best friend's godsister, and even though he gave me the go, I can't touch her. It's part of my moral system, I can't commit to it. So, I tried to commit to being a big brother in her life, even though I had feelings for her. Heck, I even bought her a rose on Mother's Day.

The girl's never met a kind person, honest opinion here, so when I was nice to her, she freaked. She couldn't imagine there's actually nice people out there, so she started ignoring me. The summer went by, and we didn't talk at all. She called us for plans one day eventually, but just at the last second, she ditched us, because apparently, she was "busy." I didn't want to deal with her, so I told Yoh that the girl's gone in my book.

Yoh tried to fix it up, so he invited the guys, me and her to go catch a movie. I didn't talk to her that day, or rather, I tried to avoid her. I didn't want anything to do with that emotional brat. We finished the day, I headed off, and nothing changed, at least for me. She ended up sleeping with one of my friends, Dima. They ended up going out till my birthday. Apparently, he broke up with her, and she couldn't take it. At this point, Yoh also got pissed at her, and now he's also ignoring her.

Today, I was chilling with one of my friends, Corey. He works at the local grocery market, where she shops for her stuff quite often. They know each other and talk whenever they meet. As we were eating at the noodle shop, he told me something I didn't quite know.

"Dien, she said you're the one that got away."

That line has been repeating in my head constantly, and I'm so torn up right now. Yet, it goes right with what's been up. Once I started ignoring her, Yoh was trying to link me back up with her so that she wouldn't lose me. I didn't budge. As a possible resort, she went with sleeping and dating a good friend of mine to get me jealous. I admit, I did feel a bit jealous, but I didn't care enough to do anything.

She's currently crying her eyes out, and she even posted on her livejournal,
"i need a heartache remedy."

I promised Yoh that no matter what, I'd be there for her, but I've already decided to ignore her and give her the finger. I've got a great girlfriend I'm crazy in love with, and if I do try to comfort her, it could spark up some feelings that'll complicate my life further. I don't like seeing girls cry, nor even hearing about it.

Could it be because I'm weak? Other people tell me all the time, that I'm way too nice. Even my best friend, Yoh was talking to Corey about it. They tell me all the time to man up. But I don't want to let her go down like this. But I've also agreed with Yoh to ignore her. Do I go against what I said to follow what I promised, at the risk of my life getting dizzier? I need some advice here.

You are in a bit of a problem man, the question you need to ask yourself is, Is it worth it?, is it worth th waiting? and another one, do you relly like her to give it a try? if you dom you have nothing to loose, and maybe if you guys really start to date, maybe you can tell her what was that maked you "grow apart from her"

is just a thougth but gl man
and youre not too nice, i cant stand a girl crying, when my grl cries due to something i imedeatly fix it to make her stop crying,

Drop it, trust me. Drama queens (emo gals) are the worst. Its not worth your time, maybe just hit it and quit it.

how old is she? im not trying to sound mean or anything, but she sounds childish. i had a very hard time growing up and i can remember acting that way when i was in 8/9th grade. life sucks, but u dont have to try and run away from stuff, which its seems like that is what she is doing. but heres my advice(very cliche)... you only live once. if u want to be with her, then do everything u can to make it happen. good luck with what ever u decide. :)

Call me cold if you like. But from past experiences, people with that much emotional baggage you avoid at all costs.

Drama queen big headache proceed at your own risk. Later on she'll just be a money hungry beatch, but hey what do I know. Pick your poison, but best to leave it on the shelf.

Yeah, I've had situations sort of like this (just not as complicated) and our n00b brothers are right. If you've got a great girl that you love right now stick with her, because not only will Terri stay crying and needy if you do try to fix things but you'll wind up hurting the girl you're going out with. Be happy with your mate, she'll find someone or something that clicks with her.

Sounds to me like ppl in her life have always let her down. She wouldn't push ppl away when they start to get close if this wasn't the case. I call it Bitch syndrome, and usually its done subconsciously. Perhaps she was physically or emotionally abused. (prolly by a man in her life). It's also possible she's just a spoiled brat. She from California?
I would say the advice from these other guys is prolly good advice, unless you really think there's opportunity for long lasting relationship, I would stay away til she figures out what's important in life -- the people you associate with and care about---
It obviuos that she's misserable cause she has no friends but cannot or will not do the introspection nesc. to realize that SHE IS the reason she has no friends.

MY 2 CENTS
:roll:

Agreed i guess. If you're in love with someone, you need to hold on to that. I know you want to help the other girl, but if it risks what you have already got, don't even go for it. Now when i say don't go for it, i mean don't get involved on the level that would hurt your current relationship. Perhaps talk to her, and try showing her that everyone isn't an asshole, and their are nice people here. But you have to be careful not to cross that boarder.

If you are happy, you need to stick where you are. Happiness goes along way, and if you end that, it could be forever till you find it again. There is nothing wrong with an "Emo" girl. They just have to be cared for more. Almost every girl is emo, (Whew..except this new generation..) They have always cried and been tender hearted. Maybe you should ignore her, maybe knowing that she lost something because of her own emotions, and not opening herself up will show her a bit of reality.

Im not sure i understand the full question, but this is my opinion on what i have gotten out of it.

You said guys, but we girls can offer an opinion too.. and F*CK emo people!

Seriously, I have age and experience on you, so maybe my perspective can help. I had a really bad marriage that I recently got out of, 13 years and the last 6 hell. I was really torn up and ready to trust NO ONE. But everyone has a choice of not only how to act, but how to REACT, and I chose to be careful, but not deliberately shut anyone out. I'm a bitch, but a selective one! I don't like when people use other people in any way, especially when people try to make others jealous by sleeping with your friends. That's just wrong. Now, maybe because I'm not emo and have grown up quite a bit in the last decade, this made a difference, but I still can't see treating you and others like that.

I understand that you had/have some feelings for this girl, but right now is not at all the right time. You love your current girlfriend, so stay emotionally reserved when it comes to this girl. I feel pretty strongly that you could get really hurt since she is in this place right now. Now, if you were really "the one who got away", she might find this experience a catalyst to change some of her behaviors. Who knows what will happen down the road? She might grow out of this, get help to get over things, and you two could be perfect for each other....a long time from now. Or you could further grow apart, or you could each find someone who is already perfect for you without either of you having to change.

I never used to think that could happen, but it happened to me, after I vowed no more relationships. Sometimes you just meet the person who is the other half of you....and you tend to know it immediately. If this ever happens, jump all over it, you only live once, to the best of my knowledge, and happiness is all important and hard to come by. :D

I'd say you have half the battle won by knowing that these feelings are/could be there and not wanting to complicate your life. Go with your gut on this one, which seems to me to stay out of it, at least for now.

I didn't read the other responses. But...
You can't please everyone, and she's obviously one of the "everyone". I thought while reading it that she was the "girlfriend" that you were so in love with. Knowing that she's not, it doesn't matter; just forget her, she'll move on.
Also, if she's pre-emo (like a cousin I have, except supposedly everyone already thinks he's gay) then she's not your type. Don't bother going for a girl for whom you have to change yourself. It's just not worth the time.

everyone gave some pretty good advice!
I'm going to say the same thing too, stick with the girl that you've invested time into.

Terry will only wind up becoming an alcoholic and sleep with your friends again....even if your in a relationship with her.

seen it happen....some asian girls are too power driven, and can never settle down.

i herd this saying a while back you might find it usefull


never leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love

follow your heart and ask yourself, do you have stronger feelings for the pre-emo girl more then your present girlfriend? if you dont, stay away. i know how you feel about people telling you your too nice, even my mom has told me im too nice sometimes. Just keep doing it how it works for you, your not weak, if your nice its a good thing, there are too many assholes out in this world.

Wow..that is the coolest saying ever.

i've heard that before, and in the situation presented i agree. you told your friend that u would ignore her with him. and you say you love you g/f. but currently knowing u could possible like another. you may not want to ignore the almost emo girl. so you could be very very distant friends like when u were to see her like wave say hi maybe light conversations. but i would not encourage much more than that. sorry that, that probably didnt help much.

i think most girls=drama even us who try to keep it down or in check i think thats y most of my freinds are guys.

good luck*hugz*

I pretty much agree with everyone else (stay with your current girlfriend), but what has been generally ignored was her sleeping with your friend to make you jealous. Based on how you described her, and the fact that you're "the only one that got away," I would bet money on that being repeated behavior. You definitely don't want to invest any time or emotion in a girl who frivolously fools around with other guys to show that she has a thing for you. It doesn't bode well for a long term relationship... assuming that's what you're looking for.

Dien your a smart kid you have something that is ver hard to find most of the time, keep what you got with your girl now, now the other girl is just crazy trust me man you don't what to be apart of that no matter what! don't do anything thats gonna mess up your life cause another girl is crazy.

I cannot thank you guys enough for this outpour of replies. I honestly didn't expect such philosophical answers, but they've helped me tremendously. Thank you brothers and sisters, I know I can count on you.

I got very philosophical as well, it was like, a page long then my internet/power crashed.

Stick with your current Girlfriend but don't completely ignore this other girl. Be polite, if you see her say hello, if she opens up to you, listen to her. Be her friend, not her boyfriend.