hahahahahhaha

Kitten Wins this Thread.
But where the F*CK is the conclusion.
I want pics. or something.
For all we know Blunts probably fucked up and is now dead in the trunk of his car.
Or died from chlamydia.

Agreed where is the vids. Yeah the whole gf 3some is risky business. My ex became a F*CKING raging whore after we did that shit. Best is to do it single with two chicks you don't know at a party, wake up and sneak off to work at 6am. But like vision said, regardless gotta go for that shit. Only live once.

No way, dude. Check me out.

See I need a 4some, I wouldn't even F*CK 2 of them

2 chicks on my nips and 1 on my dick

That's my heaven

Here's how mine plays out.

I get a bed that's made out of a pile of kittens - but like super durable scientifically engineered kittens so they actually work as a bed and not a shock trick at a metal concert - and I just flop the F*CK out on it and bust some serious spread eagle.

At this point, pure F*CKING metal starts blasting from every direction (my whole room is a speaker) and ten different hot bitches come in the room and all begin grasping at a piece of this All-American Stud-Out-Of-Hell. I've got four bitches vying for a piece of my dick, three struggling for my huge nuts, two competing to tongue my bung, and one bitch who just can't seem to find any space at all.

The left out bitch starts getting frustrated and woman-angry (where there's a lot of noise and no real action taken) because she's jonesin' for some of my Five-Star, World-Renowned Sweet Sweet Lovin'. She gets pissier and pissier until she barely pushes one of the bitches going for my ass.

That bitch is already strung out on crack or sherm or some shit and this bitch F*CKING loses it. She spins around and punches the shit out of the whiny cunt and in doing so, she manages to hit two other bitches. Those two bitches lose their balance and knock all the other bitches around slightly.

It's mother F*CKING on.

All of a sudden I'm chillaxin' on the worlds fluffiest, most comfortable mother F*CKING bed and there is a ten woman free-for-all (Modern Warfare 2 style) for my entertainment.

In the midst of their battle, they continue to search for openings to service me. One bitch nimbly dodges a Falcon Punch and presses the action button again near the edge of the bed to mount me. She rides me like a cowgirl extraordinaire before some brunette tackles her off of me. A redhead replaces her and beings to provide a truly enlightening blowjob. She's torn away by a blonde with daddy issues who beings to give me the Holy Grail of rimjobs.

Next thing I know - F*CKING BAM - my robot servants have stealthily placed weapons carved with ancient runes around the room. Another redhead seems to be the craftiest of the group and is the first to notice. She grabs the nearest cleaver and slices off the head of the bitch giving me a rimjob. Her tongue is still firmly in my asshole and it holds her head in place as the body falls away. I bust ass and he head goes flying and hits this firecrotch in the left tit. She stumbles back and Lucy Lu impales her with a pike.

Lucy Lu gloats triumphantly over her minor victory and begins to approach me as she runs her hand up my thigh. She climbs on top of me and reaches for my unit and a giant scythe blade slices her in half. Death's Hand slides through her head and she topples away in peaces. God, I F*CKING hate Lucy Lu. How the F*CK did that disgusting creature get in my fantasy. What the shit. F*CK.

Lucy Lu falls away and reveals the first redhead wielding the scythe. I smile at her with my approval and she returns to the fray.

The slaughter continues on and on fueled by a burning hunger for my Luncheon Meat Truncheon. And Dangling Epcot Centers. And Dark Matter Vortex.

Quite some time passes and three bitches still stand (kind of - one is missing a leg and holding herself up with a blade she used to split some random bitch right down the middle). They all put in to motion their final attack to see who will be the victor and lay claim to their prize.

I raise my hand and let out a mighty howl for them to cease their brutal combat. My deep, booming, manly voice freezes them in their tracks and disarms them with it's waveform. A scythe, a blade, and a random AK47 clatter against the marble floor. Their vaginas are already at maximum wetness, but my voice kicks that shit up to eleven and they all orgasm on the spot. Twice.

I then inform them that they are the three worthy valkyries who have been blessed by the Norns to accept the seed of the perfect Einherjer - me.

I command the brunette who had been holding the gun to pick it back up and I beckon for all the bitches to approach. They do. I take the AK from the curvy vixen and examine it. I might even quote Samuel L. Jackson. Who knows? Anyway, the point is that I examine the F*CK out of that AK because it does over 100 damage with a headshot (usually).

I pull the trigger and the blonde bitch who is missing a leg suddenly finds her brains all over the wall behind her. Or at least she would, but she's dead and there is no afterlife. Her corpse slides off the kitten pile and hits the floor with a satisfying thud. F*CK that shit. I'm not letting some weak-ass cripple bare even half of one of my excessively manly children. Also, I F*CKING hate blondes. All they're good for is being a guaranteed airplane hanger sized vag.

The redhead and the brunette approach and begin to work their magic again.

I have a threesome.

I just spent the last hour at work writing this shit. What the F*CK is wrong with me?

I'm gonna go with either your uncle raped you in your sleep or you play too many video games.

He's now my hero you leave him alone.

Your right, I need a 5some. I need a dirty blonde bitch eating my hole

Aiight bitch it's monday wtfuck happened?

So, Blunts for breakfast. The weekend has passed, How did your three way go?

Kitten, you are officially my hero. I want to grow up to be just like you. I want to have all your knowledge in my brain. And I want a kitten bed, Valkyries fighting over my body, stereo walls, robot servants, stealth weapons with runes carved in them, and the best thing of all, A MOTHERFUCKING 100+ DMG AK!

Okay so,
We get back from this little party and we get back to my girlfriends dorm and im the only one shit-hammered i dont even think they drank so it was sketchy from the start. We get up to my gf room and we all kinda stare at each other for like 30 seconds and i start busting up laughing, i take my clothes off and yadda yadda ya long story short: condom broke with my Gf, her friend queffed, and started crying about her boyfriend right after. It didnt play out like it did in my dreams.

your so full of shit

/ban

it generally doesn't blunts it takes a special kind of lady that is very rare to experience a good threesome. Congrats on your awkward threesome. Whats important is it wasn't a trap so there always next time.

blunts, i don't think we wanted to hear the "long story short" version, dick. ;)

I wanted to know from their clothes coming off, to the penis insertion, to condom breaking (wtf, only one? I'd think you would have stamina for at least 2 rounds AFRICAN AMERICAN. 2 chicks should bring out the best. Wtf man. Seriously!? Put it in their butt if you don't have any more condoms. Geez.), to queefing, and I wanna hear that you bitchslapped her for ruining it.

My rule on queefing is that if it happens, she better be able to do it again immediately and on command in my face or she has to leave and never come back. I won't even let her get dressed.

Now, that may sound weird and gross, but think about it. Having a chick who can queef whenever and wherever and is willing to do it guarantees not only seriously lulzy situations on tap, but a fantastic way to make awkward social situations even more awkward and assuring the other party goes the F*CK away so you don't have to.

Lol that sounds gross but it makes perfect sense. I'd probably do it to, minus "in my face". If she can queef on Que that'd be awesome. But it was her friend that queefed, not his gf. So if it'd make it more awkward, why make his own gf leave lmao

Because she can't queef on command.