I bought a gerbil from the petting zoo
If Richard Gere can do it I can too
I get undressed, start to lube
I stick the gerbil in the end of the tube Wondering just how he'll feel
Will he like it better than his little wheel
Careful now he's right beside me
One more inch and he's inside me

Go, gerbil go
Burrow harder, burrow deeper
Be my little chimney sweeper
One thing I forgot about
How am I supposed to get you out?

So now my Gerbils on easy street
It's warm and cozy and there's plenty to eat
The situation is beyone my control
Gotta find a way to get him out of his hole

I try crowbars, I try wires
I almost had him with a pair of pliars
I try cheese but he's not biting
I wish this wasn't so exciting

Go, gerbil go
Jesus I am such a sucker
Please get out you furry F*CKER
I think I am getting ill
Suddenly he's very very still

Now it's too late
My gerbil died
I guess I have commited gerbicide
Here's some advice
It's very clear cut
If you love your gerbil
Don't stick him up your butt
Don't stick him up your butt
Little furry gerbil in your booty hole
Don't stick him up and you put him in the end and he won't come out
Yeah

zomg the ole mans gotta bit o' devil in 'em


I love cranking this on Halloween... Keeps the kiddies at bay.

We are the soldiers under God's commmand. We hold his two-edged sword within our hands We're not ashamed to stand up for what's right. We win without sin it's not by our might. And we're fighting all the sin and the good book it says we'll win! Soldiers, Soldiers under command Soldiers, Soldiers, fighting the Lords battleplan. Are you a Soldier under God's command? Help fight the good fight join us while you can the battle thats's waiting is fought so easily. Through him without sin there is victory And we're fighting all the sin and the good book it says we'll win.

I have four soldiers under God's command.

F*CKING styper...

Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm yeah yeah
Holy diver you've been down too long in the midnight sea oh what's becoming of me
Ride the tiger you can see his stripes but you know he's clean oh don't you see what I mean
Gotta get away holy diver yeah

Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality.
Open your eyes, look up to the skies and seeeeeee...

Carry on my wayward son
There'll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don't you cry no more

Once I rose above the noise and confusion
Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion
I was soaring ever higher
But I flew too high

Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man
Though my mind could think I still was a mad man
I hear the voices when I'm dreaming
I can hear them say

Masquerading as a man with a reason
My charade is the event of the season
And if I claim to be a wise man, well
It surely means that I don't know

On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune
But I hear the voices say

In these times of confusion and sin We must redeem our human ways this force that fights to live will fight till it dies and rise again to save the day. We all Rock the World, We all Rock the World. The power grows to destroy this flag of hate that waves so high in the air we raise are fists in rebellion we stand our hungry hearts set the snare. We all Rock the World, We all rock he World. Ageless as time change is revealed We will rock for you.

Spinning further, deeper
I know you're out to try me
I'm not in this to be a slave
Push the dirt, make me feel
Locate what swallows life
Night bird you build my world

..and then I close my eyes
..and then I close my eyes

Judge me now
Used to be afraid to let it show, bow down
A king in my own mind
Everything's in place so much brighter from today

Drown the monster
Make all bad dreams go away
Whatever it takes to keep your hands free
Open scars, the quiet place
All the bridges fall to the ground and you say you sacrificed

..and then I close my eyes
..and then I close my eyes

Judge me now
Used to be afraid to let it show, bow down, bow down!
A king in my own mind
Everything's in place so much brighter from today
A king in my own mind

Judge me now
A king in my own mind
Judge me now
A king in my own mind

Judge me now
Used to be afraid to let it show, Bow down, bow down!
A king in my own mind
Everything's in place so much brighter from today
A king in my own mind

Got a picture of your house And you're standing by the door. And its looking pretty worn, See the factory that i worked silhouetted in the back the memories are grey but man they're really coming back. I don't need to be the king of the world. As long i'm the hero of this little girl. Heaven isn't to far away closer to it everyday no matter what your friends say.How i love the way you move and the sparkle in you eyes there's a color deep inside them like a blue suburban sky. When i some how late at night and you're in bed asleep i wrap my arms around you so i can feel you breathe. I dont need to be a superman As long as you will be my biggest fan. Heaven isn't to far away closer to it everyday No matter what your friends say We'll find our way Yeah. Now the lights are going out along the boulevard The memories come rushing back And it makes it pretty hard I've got nowhere left to go And noone really cares But i'm never giving up on you. Heaven Oh-oh-oh-oh Heaven Oh-oh-oh-oh Its not to far away Oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh Yeah.

With a battle cry go forth which is
"Give the people what they want."
And what the people want could only be the senseless slaughter
of the gutter-slime that litters this nation for cash and prizes.
Yes, this is the show where people bet their lives to win something big.
'cause when your life is shit, then you haven't got much to lose on
Slaughterama!

This next geek is guilty of the following:
A Grateful Dead life in which he's been allowing.
Tried to tell us "Give peace a chance."
Met the National Guard and he shit in his pants.
It's not you imagination, it's not a bad trippie, yes that's him -
It's the big smelly hippy!
Hello Mr.Hippy, nice to meet you.
Hey, got a little shit between your toes.
How's things at the ol' manure factory?
How's little Tofu? What!?
She grew another head?
Well, you gotta lay off that LSD you know,
kinda makes your offspring goofy-looking.
So, how do you hide money from a hippy?
Put it under the soap.
I'm sorry but that answer wasn't in time,
you're gonna have to put your mouth on this.
Whoa! I blew your head clean off.
Good thing I was such an expert shot with the National Guard back in Kent State.*
There's nothing like hippie hunting.
My dad always use to take me with Lee Harvey Oswald.
All right, we're rocking now.

Worlds biggest hair,
worlds tightest pants got no circulation but you still can't dance.
Fashion is a statement and sometimes a risk.
Every fashion had its faults, but yours is the pits.
Always in black, looks like he's dead -
Here's the art-fag lying on his death-bed.
Hello Mr. Art-Fag, come on out here.
Say, what a hairdo. It's awfully big.
As big as the.. the..
the Hindenburg and it will go up just as fast if I put this lighter to it.
But no, I'm gonna hold out and ask you this question:
What ever happened to Eddie Munster?
I'm looking at him!
Oh, Oderus help the boy with his hairdo there.... ooh, it's getting ripped off.
Ow, you know that's gotta hurt.
Hey, what's Oderus trying to do with his face?
Is that a face-lift?
No, he's pulling that face clean off.
Ah. Help that sod outta here..

Gave up pu$$y, stopped to a toot.
Now you can't wait to give someone the boot.
Elbows and knuckles, all you knows how.
Follows the heard, just another cow.
Brain full of shit, boots full of lead.
Straight from Hitler's ass it's a Nazi skinhead.
Hello Mr.Nazi Skinhead how you doin'?
How's Geraldo's nose? Still broken?
Well it's good to see you still on the job.
You know when you're mugging talk show commentators in bathrooms,
always remember to draw the swastika turning to the right,
not to the left, always to the right.
Why do Nazi skinheads wear red suspenders anyway?
He doesn't have to tell you.
Time to give this Nazi skinhead one more haircut,
real close to the shoulders like.
Whoa! His heads been decapitated.
Look at all that PSI in he aorta artery.
Whoa! Is he a gusher or what?

Well, ladies and gentlemen that's all for this week.
We've killed everyone worth killing, hope you do the same.
We'll be back next week for another edition of Slaughterama.
It's full of existential despair.
It's full of people who just don't care.
Don't feel sorry for them.
They've chosen there own pathetic life.

Yeah! Tell ya about this Lady such tender eyes such a sweet believer the story never lies when i found you girl you were so far down a black cat in diguise. How in the world could it come to this couldn't you see that you'd gone to far saving you soul for that one last kiss living your wish upon a star. Madalaine, this is love to tough to tame Madalaine, beware of the girl beware of the pain. Running scared through the dark of the day, the story never dies but the names keep changing and the faces fade take you dead or alive. How in the world could it come to this couldn't you see you'd gone to far saving your soul for that one last kiss living your wish upon a star. Madalaine, this is love to tough to tame Madalaine, beware of the girl beware of the pain. All you glory was left like an angry child waiting to take your luck away but you can't see you're still running wild. Oh Madalaine, now don't run away from me. Madalaine this is love to tough to tame Madalaine beware of the girl beware of the pain. Madalaine, this is love to tough to tame, too tough to tame............

And while the wheels keep rolling
And another signpost gone
All along the road behind
Oh can't you hear me calling
Like the sad whale song
I'm on the road behind
Well there you have it baby
I'm just a sensitive guy
Y'know I snuffed a million planets
But I still find time to cry
Because there's more to life
Then making other people die
Like a little bloody tear
Running out my dirty little eye
And some things baby
They don't make no sense
Does it really matter if it bugs
Your parents?
[Chorus]
Now baby quit yer crying
Put those clown britches on
[2nd Chorus]
A sad whale song...
Sad whale baby

The wheels on the bus go round and round
Round and round, round and round
The wheels on the bus go round and round
All through the town.

(Roll hands over each other)


The wipers on the bus go "Swish, swish, swish,
Swish, swish, swish, swish, swish, swish"
The wipers on the bus go "Swish, swish, swish"
All through the town.

(Put arms together in front of you and 'swish' like windshield wipers)


The door on the bus goes open and shut
Open and shut, open and shut
The door on the bus goes open and shut
All through the town.

(Cover eyes with hands on 'shut' and uncover them on 'open')


The horn on the bus goes "Beep, beep, beep
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep"
The horn on the bus goes "Beep, beep, beep"
All through the town.

(Pretend to honk horn)


The gas on the bus goes "Glug, glug, glug
Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug"
The gas on the bus goes "Glug, glug, glug"
All through the town.

(Pretend to fill tank using pointer finger as gas nozzle)


The money on the bus goes "Clink, clink, clink,
Clink, clink, clink, clink, clink, clink"
The money on the bus goes "Clink, clink, clink"
All through the town.

(Pretend to put money in cash box on bus)


The baby on the bus says, "Wah, wah, wah!
Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah, wah!"
The baby on the bus says, "Wah, wah, wah!"
All through the town.

(Fisted hands in front of eyes and rub them like baby crying)


The people on the bus say, "Shh, shh, shh,
Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh"
The people on the bus say, "Shh, shh, shh"
All through the town.

(Put pointer finger to mouth to 'shhh')


The mommy on the bus says, "I love you,
I love you, I love you"
The daddy on the bus says, "I love you, too"
All through the town.






And for our Russian friends

Колеса на автобус идти снова и снова
Снова и снова, снова и снова
Колеса на автобус идти снова и снова
Все по городу.

(Roll руки друг с другом)


В дворники на автобус идти "шуршать, шелестеть, шуршать,
Шуршать, шелестеть, шуршать, шелестеть, шуршать, шелестеть "
В дворники на автобус идти "шуршать, шелестеть, шуршать"
Все по городу.

(Положить оружие вместе перед вами и "свистом 'как дворники ветрового стекла)


Дверь на автобус идет открытый и закрыть
Открытые и закрытые, открытые и закрытые
Дверь на автобус идет открытый и закрыть
Все по городу.

(Обложка глаз с рук на "закрыть" и выявить их на "Открыть")


Рог на автобус идет "Звуковой сигнал, сигнал, сигнал
Звуковой сигнал, сигнал, сигнал, сигнал, сигнал, сигнал "
Рог на автобус идет "Звуковой сигнал, сигнал, сигнал"
Все по городу.

(Претендует на сигналить рог)


Газа на автобус идет "Glug, glug, glug
Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug "
Газа на автобус идет "Glug, glug, glug"
Все по городу.

(Вид, для заполнения цистерны с помощью указателя пальцем, как газовое сопло)


Деньги на автобус идет "звон, звон, звон,
Звон, звон, звон, звон, звон, звон "
Деньги на автобус идет "звон, звон, звон"
Все по городу.

(Вид, чтобы положить деньги в кассы на автобусе)


Младенец в автобусе говорит: "Вах, вау, вау!
Вах, вау, вау, вау, вау, вау! "
Младенец в автобусе говорит: "Вах, вау, вау!"
Все по городу.

(Неуклюжий руки перед глазами и руб них, как ребенок плачет)


Народ в автобусе говорят: "Тсс, Тсс, Тсс,
Тсс, Тсс, Тсс, Тсс, Тсс, Тсс "
Народ в автобусе говорят: "Тсс, Тсс, Тсс"
Все по городу.

(Разместите указатель пальцем в рот 'shhh')


В мама в автобусе говорит: "Я люблю тебя,
Я люблю тебя, я люблю тебя "
Папа на автобусе говорит: "Я тебя тоже люблю"
Все по городу.

Do you folks like coffee?
Real coffee,
From the hills of Columbia?
The Duncan Hills will awake you,
From a thousand deaths.
A cup of blackened blood.
(Die, DIE!)
I'm dying for a cup.
Guatamalan blend.
Ethiopian,
French Vanilla Roast.
(Die, DIE!)
You're dying for a cup.
Prepare for ultimate flavor...
You're gonna get some, NOW!
And scream, for your cream!
(Solo- Skwisgaar Skwigelf)
DUNCAN HILLS
DUNCAN HILLS
DUNCAN HILLS
COFFEE!

Birth is always painful, Decaying in the womb trapped within this body
A bleeding human tomb gutted bitch lies dead emptied of the child
chewing on the cords its life line to this world afterbirth is flowing
The stench is overwhelming
My body, growing stronger, my pain turns to torture
Severing its bloodline
A butchered infant carcass
Meat from the unborn, the freshest kills
Chopped up children bathing in blood
Contoured and festering I rot in disgust
Re-generation of my body
Mother ripped apart
Smashing in her face
My knife cutting holes, F*CKING her remains
Esophogus carved out
Crushing cartilage
Bile oozing from punctures in your liver
Riping meat within
Chewing in intestine
Bladder spurting urine, sight of defecation now grow infection
The child ripped to shreads
Drinking its excretions
Zombification ejaculation over mutilation
On the Mothers body hacked into pieces
The sludges from my C*CK gives her life once again
Sewing the remains of the child deep within her
Reborn through evil
My torture known throughout Hell
Heed to his calling, the demons await my next kill
Carnage is my fetish
Body cavities scraped of guts
Brains seeping from cracks as my axe continues to hack

"When your mother has grown older,
When her dear, faithful eyes
no longer see life as they once did,
When her feet, grown tired,
No longer want to carry her as she walks -

Then lend her your arm in support,
Escort her with happy pleasure.
The hour will come when, weeping, you
Must accompany her on her final walk.

And if she asks you something,
Then give her an answer.
And if she asks again, then speak!
And if she asks yet again, respond to her,
Not impatiently, but with gentle calm.

And if she cannot understand you properly
Explain all to her happily.
The hour will come, the bitter hour,
When her mouth asks for nothing more."

You will never guess who this is by....

noone knows
i pick my nose

I know you don't really know me i know you don't really care to see me I'm into total affection not being scared if you never please me. You know you really want to Lay it Down right now and how I know you really want to Lay it Down right now Lay It Down Lay it Down Lay It Down Lay It Down. Under the sheets you will find me I know that nothings for free. You take what's good for your pleasin' I take what's good for this crazy evening. You know you really want to Lay it Down Right now And how. I know you really want to Lay it Down Right now. Lay it Down Lay it Down Lay it Down Lay it Down Lay it Down Lay it Down Lay it Down. I know you only want romance I'll give you all that i can. If you give me just one chance to prove myself In love.[Warren Demartini guitar solo] Lay it Down Lay it Down Lay it Down Lay it Down Lay it Down Lay it Down Lay it Down Yeah Yeah Yeah. Lay it Down Lay it Down Lay It Down Lay it Down Lay it Down Lay it Down Lay it Down.