i wrote this and got an a on it.. most of my friends thought it was funny, figured if yall got bored you could read it. oh and i know it has mistakes.


Imagine if you will a place with no rules. A place where cats roam free, where people can leave their Christmas lights up for years and not be bothered.

We begin at an intersection. There are many cars flying by on their way to some unknown destination. On occasion, the violent accident occurs. But
that is not common of an intersection in Florida.

As we maneuver through the intersection we see a street sectioned off by a median. Ahh yes, the median, if elves existed they would live in that median. The grass grows like a tall enchanted forest. It flows with the wind like the main of a donkey. No ordinary donkey of course, a magical donkey, for a magical place of course. I knew you would like that. Trash covers this little plot of land. Numerous amounts of cigarette butts and beer bottles line its magnificent stone curbs. Gigantic palm trees, three in a row, tower over the uncultured foliage.

A little ways down on the left, we come to a small building. The entrance is covered with various signs; beer: 7.99 milk: 2.99 cigs: 3.00. Coupled with these are pieces of paper showing lost pets, rooms for rent, and other various items lost or for sale. As you walk into the establishment, the smell of mold and cigarettes infiltrates your nostrils. The floor has a film of dirt on it that looks like it could be from the early 18th century. As you walk towards the back, you come to a wall. Now, this is no ordinary wall, far from it. This is a wall of alcohol, a glorious war of intoxication. Bud, Coors, Miller, Red Stripe, almost every kind of beer you can buy sits in this section of the store. At the counter sits a small Indian man. All day and all night (it seems) he sits behind his counter and taps at the keys of his register. Taking in people’s riches and loving every minute of it. After you buy your alcoholic beverage or pack of cigarettes, he says “Thank you come again!” with such enthusiasm it could make you sick.

Continuing on, we arrive at a small house. A mid sized dull red truck is perched on the driveway. An uncut lawn looms in the foreground. As you walk up, an old folding chair greets you in the area where the garage should be. As you continue onward, the faint smell of marijuana permeates the air. You can hear strange sounds coming from the house. As you enter the house you enter a dirty kitchen. Dirty pots, pans and dishes line the counters. An array of beer bottles also graces your presence. Take a few steps in and it hits you, the reek of marijuana. Take a look to your right and you see the owner of the house, laid out on a large leather couch, stoned out of his mind. Yes, it is a marvelous sight. On the table in front of him lies an assortment of items. Bowls, rolling papers, marijuana, beer bottles, cigarettes, and the list goes on. Onward through the house, we see a television. On this television, star wars. Indeed, stars wars and marijuana, a wonderful mixture. As we take out leave, we hit the pipe one last time, to make the ride home a little more interesting.

As we head onward on our journey, we see many small yards dotting the landscape. We find the occasional small child playing in the street. Every so often, a speed bump. Many houses all the same, but all different in their own way. Whether it is a color scheme or a tree in the front yard, each house is unique. The smell of marijuana can sometimes reach your nose, most likely an older person with glaucoma.

As you arrive to your destination, you see a quaint brown house. The first things you see are many vehicles, lined in the large white driveway, a large gray truck, a large green truck and a small red truck. As you enter the house, there is a set of very comfortable brown couches. Sometimes, there is a large pile of clothes on one a certain lazy person has left these for his girlfriend to clean. As you continue on to the bedroom, years of collected objects catch your eyes. Among these objects are a Homer Simpson wall clock, a painted bowling pin, and various stuffed animals. Don’t ask me because I have no idea. A rather large water bed sits to the right. Massive piles of clothes create a mountainous landscape on the floor.

“It reminded me of climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. I must have been climbing for weeks and thought I would never get to the top. But finally, I prevailed.”

A rather large television sits upon a dresser; the dresser is covered with electronics. Xbox, DVD player, VCR, surround sound and the occasional porno flick rests atop this piece of furniture. A lot of time is spent in front of this area.

As we leave our previous location, we venture across the street. There is a tan house with a blue door staring you in the face. A single large Royal palm tree keeps watch in the front yard. There are many cars in the driveway. Three white Volkswagens, a grey Toyota and a grey Volvo. This is a very busy place. The grass is well groomed by the local immigrant lawn cutters. And oh my do they do a good job too, almost like they were bred to cut grass. The house is very clean because there are 3 females living inside of it. Ahh yes females, a very clean breed. As we venture inside we meet a fat, pig like dog lying on the floor. He doesn’t bother moving, he doesn’t want to hurt himself. There are many paintings and other trinkets on the walls.

Doesn’t this sound like a wonderful place? I knew you would agree. Lots of people love it. you would to if you lived there. Trust me!

Hm, interesting read indeed

oh its about my neighborhood incase you were wondering.

And if im not mistaken and you live in Florida... you forgot to make notice of an old person trying to make a turn from the fast lane causing a huge pile up. Where abouts might this wonderful land in which your domicile permeates such heavenly aromas? :roll:

I'll probably end up reading it at work here.

ya i have 2 cats