One of my guys sent me these today. Thought I would share so the geeks amongst us could get a chuckle.

How can you tell when a programmer has had sex?
When he’s washing the pepper spray out of his eyes.

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There are only 10 kinds of people in this world: those who know binary and those who don’t.

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Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

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Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”

The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu”

“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says, “He isn’t null-terminated.”

*yells* FOMENTA!!!...It's for you.

ROFLMAO in RL!

3 was pretty funny.

I saw 2 on bash.org (it's in the top 100):
<kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
<SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow.
<SpaceRain> STUPID

Lifted from the unix page of my college website:

The Evolution of a Programmer



High school/Jr. High

First year in college



Senior year in college



New professional



Seasoned pro



Manager

/* George, I need a program to output a string "Hello World!" */

Note: The original is by Dennis Lou (cs161fhn%sdcc10@ucsd.edu)

lol, I think the seasoned pro has a career waiting for him at IBM...you would not even believe the level of obfuscation and needless complexity I see in our crap code every day.

Shredder, along those lines. An article that resonated with me since my office is an AS/400 shop:

http://ignorethecode.net/blog/2010/03/2 ... e+the+code)

AS/400...ouch, I feel your pain, lol.

Great article, I actually heard that about the Bloomberg terminal before when I was running a diligence investigation on a company that had a "new and improved" product.

It's kind of like the Linux ubergeeks who refuse to use Gnome or some other X desktop manager because they think it demonstrates more technical skill to be a master of the command line, or coders who use vi instead of an IDE for the same reason.

Personally I like easy...probably because I am old and lazy but nothing beats a mouse and a modern IDE like Eclipse or Visual Studio. :)

I just did a GIS for Bloomberg Terminal and wow...I'm at a loss for words.

i really like the first and last one, the others ive heard way too many times, lol.

The last one is good -- esp cause I've programmed in (Embedded) C for so long. 3rd was good too -- never heard it before.

Ya that last one is pretty esoteric for the modern day programmer, don't need to worry about \0 with Java or C# strings....an unterminated char * in C can be a quick way to get a stack overflow or at the very least some pretty funky looking output. :)

I cut my teeth on C implementing storage device drivers and RAID controller firmware back in the day, and I actually prefer it to C++ because its just easier for me to read. C++ gives me a headache, lol.

These days its all Java, but prior to IBM I was heavy into C#. I still get my C fix in every chance I get though...nothing beats being down low when you want real performance. Don't get to code as often as I would like anymore though since IBM prefers a technical leader's primary skill to be making pretty Power Point charts.

F*CKIN Bloomberg? I'm just about ready to tell you to let me live in your basement and teach me all that shit. I can only imagine how much bs that must've been, and then the money right after lol.

program Hello(input, output);
begin
writeln ('Hello world');
end

LOL!

PASCAL FTW, I know that shit like the back of my hand.
I have a morse code to english/vice versa on hard-copy somewhere. It was like 14 pages.

I feel stupid reading this....oh well great reason why i dont mess with programing ^.^ shit would be al lfucked up lol

completely how i felt :D

me too :(