They don't even believe in underwear!


wait....are we talking about the africans from my national geographic?

I'm not amish you idiots. You lie to telemarkerters to get a laugh. I couldnt live if I was amish. They do have a telephone and radio!

Crayola, you F*CKING retard. Nobody said you were amish.

oh my g0t Gm4n br0ught teh 0wn4g3!!!

Gambit.

OMG MESSCAN!!! WHOS THAT AFRICAN AMERICAN IN A COW BOY HAT?!?!?!? IMMIGRATI...KKK...FBI... F*CK IT I WILL CALL EM ALL ON YOUR ASS!!!

Hey...Go back to your raft.

damn, he kinda does look black there.

Don't you guys understand? You just tell the telemarketer you're Amish. It doesn't matter that you have a phone and electricity in order to have the conversation with them. That's none of their business.

Same thing with the newspaper companies. I tell them I can't read. They don't argue with that. In fact, now I act irate and tell them to stop mocking me. "I've told you people that I don't know how to read, and ya'll keep on calling me. Now I'm not sure if it's yer mission in life to try and make me feel like less of a human being than the rest of you high-falootin' newspaper readers, but I'm fed-up with yer constant teasing."

Works beautifully. Instead of being mad about the calls now, I look forward to them.

There's 2 options with the carpet cleaning companies:

Tell them you just had hardwood floors installed with free cleaning services as part of the contract.

Ask them if they can give you a money back guaranty that they can get the cat and dog shit and piss smell out of the house. "I have 8 dogs and 12 cats. I've had FIVE other companies come out here and try to get the carpets clean, and they have all given me my money back when they were finished because it still smelled like a rotting carcass was under the couch or something. It's pretty bad, but if you're willing to give me my money back if it doesn't work, you can come out here and waste your time just like the rest of them. No? Well thanks for wasting MY time then, dickhead."

I wasn't responding to Crayola's idea, I was responding to him saying "sorry if anyone here is amish."

I prefer to lay the phone on the table and let them talk until they realize iam not responding then they hang up.

When you hear the anoying buzz of the phone being disconnected you just hang it up.

;)

You can do that when they ask for you, too. Just say "hang on, let me go get him" and lay the phone down.

OMG GMAN, you would kill yourself if you saw how SIMILIAR Cerberus and Messcan look! DUDE he looks EXACTLY Like him except cerberus doesnt have the facial hair, dude its F*CKING scary.....I mean wow GMan youd shat your pants dude!!!!11!!

Gambit.

You ever compare me to that HOMOSEXUAL again I will hunt you down and kill you.
-Messcan

that picture doesn't quite capture the complete sexiness of the bandito.

Hhahah ask them if your dial tone is working and hang up. People who come over and ask to put siding up say you have brick siding... Thats waznt funny!