My buddies 21st birthday. We were both pretty drunk, not HAMMERED, but pretty damn drunk. His next door neighbor, whom he's never met until this night, puts his face in the window of the garage we were playing pong in. We open it and he says "hey, I noticed you guys were partying. Mind if I join?" Unanimous response: "Hell no! come on in!"

Long story short, we end up in this dude's room. He starts taking rips off his waterfall-style gravity bong. Keep in mind, we're both really drunk, but neither of us have smoked anything (yet). My boy thunders back a huge, milky grav. I thunder back a huge, milky grav. I promptly cough like I've never coughed before or since. I don't even notice that my buddy has left the room. After my coughing fit, that's when I noticed, Houston, we have a problem...

I have never gotten the spins like that before or since. I felt like I was stuck in a cosmic time-space loop and I had better get used to it, because I really thought I was going to be stuck in that forever. Everything was in choppy, slow motion. I was riding an invisible magic carpet through a time-space wormhole, but it had gotten snagged on something. Not helping the situation was a song that this guy was playing. It had an ending that seemed to loop over and over and over and it was freaking me the F*CK out. This guy and another friend who was present for this kept asking me "YO. Jesse, you alright? Look at me. You ok?" "He's alright, just breathe. BREATHE. There ya go. Yo, you ok, buddy?". And this goes on for what seemed like half an hour while I'm trying to reestablish my grip on reality. My brain had been accidentally reformatted and my 21 years of what I knew about life and reality was gone. It was like I had to reacquaint myself with reality.

Finally, "Here, have some water." He hands me a bottle of water that I can barely keep a grip on. I drink and it felt soooooo gooooood going down my throat. I have never experienced a more satisfying sip of water before or since. When I'm done sipping, I accidentally drop the bottle, but I felt like I was Ace Ventura and I lost my grip on my raccoon pal and he fell to his death down the grand canyon. In my head I was like "NOOOOOOooooo!!!! lost forever..."

I don't remember moving (or being moved) to this guy's living room. I wake up and I'm sitting on the floor with my back against his couch and my legs out in front of me. Then I spew. All over the front of me, my pants and his carpet. Supposedly, my boy ralphed down this dude's stairs (lol).

I'm found, helped up and directed across the lawn, back to my buddy's house. I make my own way to their downstairs shower (which they use for storage, NOT for showering), turn it on, spend 10 minutes getting the water to the perfect napping temperature and I take a nap in the shower, yes, with it turned on, for like 1-2 hours, and yes, cell phone, keys and wallet still in my pockets.

And because they store stuff in this shower, I managed to ruin a whole pack of toilet paper, a pack of paper towels, a box of tissues, a hair trimmer and some other stuff. Before napping, I remember stepping on the wet pile of what was once a box of tissues, thinking to myself "WHAT the F*CK am I stepping on?! brains?! It's so squishy..."

I wake up, realize that it wasn't a dream, dry off, change into a spare shirt and go to bed.

Silver lining: The shower kept my clothes from getting perma-stained, a funny story, I didn't get a hangover, the neighbor has since moved so I never have to talk to that dude ever again and my buddy's mom made a sweet breakfast the morning after.

shit-brown lining: busted cell phone, shame and embarrassment.

I have never been that fucked up before or since. Never again.

Ah....good times. I had alcohol poisoning for chugging a Bacardi 151 bottle on one of my buddies birthday. F*CKING ambulance came to take me to hospital and a 400 dollars bill for the hospital E.R.
Busted my left foot and ankle because apparently i felt on them.
Yup good freaking times.

Reminds me of the night when Mr. Jeep kept feeding me delicious Joose until I woke up multiple times in pools of vomit and then the hospital.

And Coach almost got Rodney King'd by the cops.

This is why I don't drink... smoke weed like a chimney but never drinking... the thought of throwing up on myself and having a trrrble trip makes me sadface.

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

sounds like that shit was laced, reminds me of a party in tallahassee where I was the only white guy there, i walked up to a bunch of blacks smoking a blunt (least it looked like a blunt) and i took a few hits and was more fucked up than I have ever been, I had to leave the party and go home and lay down for like 2 hours and sober up...... good times

he most liekly put some pcp or coke on that shit

probably coke. If It was pcp you never wouldve left the party. You wouldve ripped your clothes off started beating your chest and with super human strength killed everyone in the party with a table thinking it was a giant banana.

Yup I don't smoke stranger weed no more, I had a laced hit and was very similar-- tweakin' all over the place. Pretty sure it was meth.

Before or since.

yes, it was a night of firsts, and lasts. I felt that should be the theme of the story.

My buddy got some laced weed from his shady indian boss who owned Kiosks in the mall.. needless to say i was freakin out and floating around the basement.

Bro Ive got a couple story's like that......... for instance I discovered xyanex right after my divorce and got bad on em. well on this occasion i awoke from the Xyanex coma in the McDonalds drive through wit A paramedic/police raping at my truck window asking me if i was okay. i told them i was a anemic I don't remember much more except i woke up the next night in my own bed with no keys or truck only the memory of a dream which included a McDonalds drive through........ it took me 4 days to find my Truck. Apparently McDonalds let my truck be parked there and the cops Brought me home. I stopped taking Xyanex for Obvious reasons

Kinda explains how you act in the server Kenny, you sure it was only a few times?

I think it was only a couple ummmm....... HeyA wht are U saying lol