Keep in mind that I'm talking to a 20 year old here. My wife did call the cops on him and the numbers are authentic. If you call any number here or go to any websites, from this post, they're from when I had the conversation with this guy. In short, my daughter is grounded from internet and phone for life...or thereabouts:

Let the Steam convo begin! The first few lines were just to see if this was the guy my daughter said was going to come get her. Er, yeah, he said he was going to take her away from us because we were mean...

Never tell your password to anyone.
(DS) Vash: hey are you going to try the killing floor?
[n00b] Coach: Maybe, not sure yet
[n00b] Coach: Might be like L4D
(DS) Vash: its so much better the l4d
(DS) Vash: there are so many more wepons
(DS) Vash: and perks are alot better
[n00b] Coach: Wait
[n00b] Coach: Need to make sure who I'm talking to
(DS) Vash: i used to be {LOD} Captain Cold
[n00b] Coach: Who is this? I have too many people on my friends list...Did you change your name?
(DS) Vash: yeah i am in a new clan
[n00b] Coach: Oh, Katies friend, yeah?
(DS) Vash: yeah
(DS) Vash: thats me
[n00b] Coach: The SWAT or whatever guy, hehe
(DS) Vash: yeah
[n00b] Coach: medic
(DS) Vash: medic
[n00b] Coach: some shit like that, gotcha
(DS) Vash: yep
[n00b] Coach: Yeah, that looks off the hook bro
[n00b] Coach: Real fun
(DS) Vash: well how about i gift it to you
[n00b] Coach: I'm good bro
(DS) Vash: why i have 2 extra copys
[n00b] Coach: Still tamed to one game
[n00b] Coach: Well, two, really
(DS) Vash: yeah
(DS) Vash: its no problem at all
[n00b] Coach: Dude, I gotta ask you something
(DS) Vash: sure
[n00b] Coach: Don't think I'm freakin or anything
(DS) Vash: k
[n00b] Coach: What's up with you and my daughter?
[n00b] Coach: You know she's only 12, right?
(DS) Vash: yeah i havent seen her in like a week
[n00b] Coach: But you know she's only 12?
[n00b] Coach: Srsly, just making sure you know that
(DS) Vash: yeah she told me
[n00b] Coach: and that she isn't lying to you
(DS) Vash: i am cool we just get along is all
(DS) Vash: she is nice
[n00b] Coach: What was up with that boob pic?
[n00b] Coach: Why did she do that?
(DS) Vash: what pic was that?
[n00b] Coach: I grounded her for that
[n00b] Coach: I saw the response, you were a bit shocked
[n00b] Coach: I think she has the wrong Idea about you and her
[n00b] Coach: "friendship" wise
(DS) Vash: well yeah i dont want to get in trouble man
(DS) Vash: my 21st b-day is in july
[n00b] Coach: No, don't get me wrong, kids will be kids
(DS) Vash: oh corse
[n00b] Coach: but, dude, don't get the wrong idea from her
[n00b] Coach: she's a little kid
(DS) Vash: i understand that
[n00b] Coach: and I do watch and protect my daughter on the internet
(DS) Vash: but her and i are just good friends is all
[n00b] Coach: Alright
(DS) Vash: i know how parents are my mom goes crazy all the time telling me not to stuff
[n00b] Coach: Do me a favor, don't call her number anymore
(DS) Vash: i can do that
(DS) Vash: you know i am not trying to cause any trouble
[n00b] Coach: I know you don't want any Chris Hanson bullshit showing up at your house. And I know you don't need me to tell you what can happen if you F*CK with a 12 year old, right? I know that she sent that picture on her own too. Leave it at that. Delete the pic and pretty much forget about her. And I know your're not trying to cause any trouble, I just want to be understood.
(DS) Vash: okay but can we still play together?
[n00b] Coach: You know I'm a cool guy, when she turns 18 it's fair game
[n00b] Coach: But right now?
[n00b] Coach: Come on man, srsly
[n00b] Coach: ?
[n00b] Coach: Yeah, we can still play together, but she's still grounded for a long time

So, we're all cool and shit, then watch this cat go all cool on me!

(DS) Vash: like i said before we are just friends nothing more i am being up front with you!
[n00b] Coach: Yeah, and I appreciate that
[n00b] Coach: But dude, seriously
(DS) Vash: but to be fully honst with you i have a kid
[n00b] Coach: Secondary problem in my household
[n00b] Coach: Get this:
[n00b] Coach: Don't type yet
[n00b] Coach: She said that you were going to come pick her up at my house and that you two would run off together...true or not? I need to know because I'm basing my grounding of her off of that statement
(DS) Vash: no sir. I have work here and i am going to cali on tuesday for 2 weeks
[n00b] Coach: Well, thank goodness, I thought I was about to sit outside waiting on your ass to kill you when you came, lol
(DS) Vash: yeah i think you would be outside for a while no offence
[n00b] Coach: LOL
[n00b] Coach: I have this!
[n00b] Coach: http://wow-tlc.com/downloads/M41.jpg
[n00b] Coach: It's mine
[n00b] Coach: My daughter is my world, I don't F*CK around
(DS) Vash: I understand
[n00b] Coach: with you being a dad, I think you'll understand, yes?
(DS) Vash: Yeah i do
[n00b] Coach: Alright
(DS) Vash: so are we good?
[n00b] Coach: Let's make an internet mother F*CKING pact:
(DS) Vash: okay
[n00b] Coach: Don't talk to her again, okay? Don't call her: Don't text her: WE, you and I, will still remain good as long as no boundries are crosssed again. I won't call the cops on you and you'll F*CKING behave. This is MY child, you have your own. I won't F*CK your life up as long as you leave her alone. It'd really suck for you if the cops came to your house for some bullshit over the internet. It's not worth it for you man. I have logs dating back for two months between you two on Vista parental controls that she didn't know about that are enough to, at the very least, get you registered as a sex offender. I won't push it as long as you don't, cool?

So, here, I established a little bit of trust: But I was FUMING, the wife was already on the phone talking to the PD where my daughter said he lived. Granted, none of you dudes will see my daughter online for a long time, she's grounded like a dead WWII pilot. Man up! It's what I did.

(DS) Vash: so i cant play games with her any more
[n00b] Coach: No, her internet is gone
(DS) Vash: even if i promise not to bull shit again?
[n00b] Coach: For you, I think, that'd be in your best interest
[n00b] Coach: She's 12, get a chick your own age, really. It's kind of silly for you to be making promises to a kid.
(DS) Vash: allright
(DS) Vash: well that sucks she cant play anymore
[n00b] Coach: Why did you tell her
[n00b] Coach: and I'm just curious
[n00b] Coach: that you'd come pick her up?
(DS) Vash: but i promise you that no more bull shit will come my way
[n00b] Coach: That's all kinds of fucked up dude
(DS) Vash: well i idk she seemed up set i just wanted her to feel better
(DS) Vash: thats it
(DS) Vash: i am not bullshiting
[n00b] Coach: But really
[n00b] Coach: How would that make her feel better
[n00b] Coach: You picking her up?
[n00b] Coach: I mean, what did she tell you that was so horrible
[n00b] Coach: ?
(DS) Vash: that and becaue my mom beat me every day of my life when i was a kid!
(DS) Vash: what any kid says
(DS) Vash: they parents are unfair
[n00b] Coach: Did she say she was beat?
(DS) Vash: i dont want to get her in anymore troubel
(DS) Vash: no she just said her parents are unfair sometimes is all
[n00b] Coach: I gotta know, only because I'm trying to get the truth out of her
[n00b] Coach: You're not going to get her into anymore trouble
[n00b] Coach: than she's already in
[n00b] Coach: Did she say we beat her?
(DS) Vash: i didnt know if she was getting beat or not.
[n00b] Coach: Did she say we beat her, yes or no?
(DS) Vash: nop
(DS) Vash: nope
[n00b] Coach: Okay
[n00b] Coach: Good deal
[n00b] Coach: Because we don't
(DS) Vash: she just said you were unfair
(DS) Vash: some times~

So, I'm unfair. OH GOD! Let me tell a dude on the internet that I'm an unfair parent! PLEASE COME SAVE ME! PLEASE!

[n00b] Coach: I can count on one hand how many times I've spanked her for doing something wrong
[n00b] Coach: Well, yeah, all parents ARE unfair
[n00b] Coach: When certain rules are in place and are expected to be followed.
(DS) Vash: i know
(DS) Vash: i am just sorry she got her internet taken away becasue all i did was go take a nap and boom she was gone
[n00b] Coach: What about you?
(DS) Vash: what do you mean
[n00b] Coach: She got her internet taken away
(DS) Vash: yeah i know
[n00b] Coach: because of the logs
(DS) Vash: o
(DS) Vash: ic
[n00b] Coach: and the pic she sent
[n00b] Coach: how does that make you feel?
[n00b] Coach: really?

Right now, I love Strange,AngryKitten and Gman for this, I really do. Nobody will understand how funny the following is if they don't know them:

(DS) Vash: Like shit
(DS) Vash: really
[n00b] Coach: Do you feel responsible, in any way, for her sending you that?
(DS) Vash: yeah kinda i guess
[n00b] Coach: How so?
[n00b] Coach: You didn't ask her to do it, did you?
(DS) Vash: i have to tell you this, i am sorry to you your wife and kaite and if i knew any of this was going to happen i would have backed off along time ago and just kept straight talking to her like a friend.
(DS) Vash: and i told her that was a bad idea, and i am sorry i didnt enforce it harder
[n00b] Coach: But my main question is, you knew she was 12, right? And you're 21? Why would you keep on leading her on?
(DS) Vash: i dont know

He was actually 20, whoops! My bad for misreading earlier text!

[n00b] Coach: That's the thing that vexes me
(DS) Vash: i really dont
(DS) Vash: well i do have this
[n00b] Coach: Alright, let's hear it!
(DS) Vash: its hard to find girls that can draw and play css like she does at my age
(DS) Vash: yeah it probly sounds like crap but its true
[n00b] Coach: but you're 9 years older than her, surely you can find...someone?
(DS) Vash: no dude you have seen me
[n00b] Coach: Yeah
[n00b] Coach: Full beard and all

Kinda looks like Gman...kinda

(DS) Vash: nobody wants a 20 year old man with a freaking kid
[n00b] Coach: You're 20 or 21?
(DS) Vash: at this point my life is allready half over
(DS) Vash: 20
(DS) Vash: 21 in July
[n00b] Coach: Think about it morally, 12 year old-20 year old....would that be right?
(DS) Vash: no
(DS) Vash: but i didnt expect it to last forever
(DS) Vash: its over internet
(DS) Vash: ya know?
(DS) Vash: if it did when she turned 18 maybe
(DS) Vash: but i am sure something would have happend by then
[n00b] Coach: I don't mind my daughter having friendships over the internet
[n00b] Coach: But relationships are different
(DS) Vash: i know
[n00b] Coach: She can't have a relationship with people over the internet
[n00b] Coach: relationships*
(DS) Vash: i just wanted to friends with her and hang out and play games with her and i guess i got in over my head
[n00b] Coach: How so?
[n00b] Coach: I mean, I know she has an outgoing personality
[n00b] Coach: really
[n00b] Coach: She's awesome in that respect
(DS) Vash: yeah she is a really good person thats why i started hanging out with her so much
(DS) Vash: i never ment for any of this to happen
(DS) Vash: what did you want to know? why i liked playing with her so much
(DS) Vash: ?

So his own guilt started in....Oh GOD It gets better!

[n00b] Coach: Yeah, since she's a little girl and all
(DS) Vash: well its like you said she is really cool
[n00b] Coach: I'll give you that I AM A HOMOSEXUAL
(DS) Vash: she is a good artist, i have allways wanted to learn how to draw like that, she is super good at cs and she started showing me how to play giving me tips and before i knew it i was playing so much better! She is super talented
(DS) Vash: i guess alot has to do with envey
(DS) Vash: i have never meet a younger person who could play cs as well as her
(DS) Vash: she was showing me on i scribble how to draw and i amzed my self when started drawing like her! even tho i still think she cheats and uses a draw pad but thats beside the point
[n00b] Coach: Yeah, she draws some awesome pics
(DS) Vash: so do you see now or partly any way?
(DS) Vash: now i see that really this is all my fault

At this point my wife is on the phone with the PD in Spokane, Washington. I'm fishing for information. We're just trying to make sure that our daughter isn't talking to a pedophile in hiding.

[n00b] Coach: How come?
(DS) Vash: well she lost her internet and being able to play and if i would have never meet her none of this would have happend
[n00b] Coach: Hehe, you may have that right
[n00b] Coach: Where are you from bro? I mean, is it cool where you live for everything to be kosher here?
[n00b] Coach: What I'm asking is this: If I lived where you lived, would this be cool? Do you live in the USA?
(DS) Vash: i know i do and to me having the internet is a really big thing and if i didnt have my games i would F*CKING go crazy! I cant emagine how she feels right now with out games
(DS) Vash: i live in the USA
[n00b] Coach: Or are you living in some strange country where they allow this, Heh
(DS) Vash: no i live in spokane washington
(DS) Vash: my home town is Abliene Texas
[n00b] Coach: Listen, I have to ask you this too...And, please, don't take offense: Are you retarded? Or slow? Or fucked up in the head somehow?

Initially, that was a joke, kinda, I was trying to figure some things out here...watch below to see it unfold!

(DS) Vash: and no they dont allow it
(DS) Vash: no i have adhd
(DS) Vash: thats all but i dont take my meds any more
(DS) Vash: i am bi poler at times but thats just me
(DS) Vash: in short i am a normal person!

ADHD! Are you serious! ROFLMAO! Keep reading...

[n00b] Coach: She said you lived in some medical town, washington
(DS) Vash: yeah medical lake i use spokane because people know that more then ml its a very small town about 15 min from spokane
[n00b] Coach: seriously, she said Medical Town, Washington
(DS) Vash: Medical Lake
(DS) Vash: lol
(DS) Vash: medical town
[n00b] Coach: Ah!
[n00b] Coach: I see
[n00b] Coach: She told me you had a pic on the internet, can I find that on the medical lake thing?
[n00b] Coach: I gotta look at it!
(DS) Vash: what pic
(DS) Vash: which one maybe i can help you!
[n00b] Coach: The one you sent her that's online
(DS) Vash: of the fire department?
[n00b] Coach: You were in a firemans suit or something
[n00b] Coach: Yeah, that one
(DS) Vash: o lol yeah hang on
(DS) Vash: http://s598.photobucket.com/albums/tt63 ... 070748.jpg
(DS) Vash: i really am a firefighter
(DS) Vash: i look stuipd i know
[n00b] Coach: lol
(DS) Vash: so do i look retarted?
[n00b] Coach: Uh, blurry

And retarded, at the moment...

(DS) Vash: thats the only one i have
(DS) Vash: other then me at the roll over
[n00b] Coach: The guy who took the photo sucked
(DS) Vash: yeah the teacher at the highschool on carrer day
(DS) Vash: i have a better pic for you
[n00b] Coach: orly?
[n00b] Coach: LOL
(DS) Vash: yeah
(DS) Vash: its just me
(DS) Vash: http://s598.photobucket.com/albums/tt63 ... 2632702667

So, I got the real pic, YEAH! Photographic proof and shit.

(DS) Vash: there you go
(DS) Vash: so how stupid do i look there?
(DS) Vash: okay so
[n00b] Coach: You don't look stupid
(DS) Vash: i am a really nice person that made a big mistake! And i really want to fix it
[n00b] Coach: Is that your kid? http://s598.photobucket.com/albums/tt63 ... summer.jpg
(DS) Vash: yeah
(DS) Vash: Adopted!

Adopted, yeah...It's the only way this guy could reproduce. At this point, I'm on the phone with the PD in Washington telling them everything I can about this douche bag. About how I'm trying to pull information out of him and about how he's already admitted to wanting to take my daughter.

(DS) Vash: well i am her god parent

Wait, not even adopted, it's some Godfather bullshit!

(DS) Vash: her mom died and her dad died in iraq
(DS) Vash: so what do you think?
(DS) Vash: so how can i fix this i mean really i really feel bad about it
(DS) Vash: well like shit to be honst

Still on the phone with the cops, this guy keeps on for a bit, then plays his little game...Keep reading!

(DS) Vash: so do you want to play killing floor with me?
(DS) Vash is now playing Killing Floor. Click here to join.
(DS) Vash is now playing Killing Floor. Click here to join.
(DS) Vash is now playing Killing Floor. Click here to join.
(DS) Vash: are you still there or what?
(DS) Vash is now playing Killing Floor. Click here to join.

So the cop is saying "Send my the text of this" if nothing else, just to scare him. He also gave me a lecture on my daughter which was already underway. She's grounded for life and will get in major hell for going anywhere near the internet till she's 18. Cop drolls on and on in my ear, then tells me what I should do, which I'm actually doing anyway. Kid under 12 + internet = BAD -unless constantly watched on the internet.

(DS) Vash: hey
(DS) Vash: okay so do you want to play with me?
(DS) Vash is now playing Left 4 Dead. Click here to join.
(DS) Vash: well are we cool?
(DS) Vash: so i guess your turning me in now arent you?
[n00b] Coach: You know the cops there?
(DS) Vash: yeah
(DS) Vash: why
[n00b] Coach: You better call Abe Bingham and tell him what's up
(DS) Vash: who the F*CK is that
[n00b] Coach: He's the cop on call tonight man
(DS) Vash: dude really did you?
(DS) Vash: because i am F*CKING sorry
(DS) Vash: really dude
[n00b] Coach: 509-342-1735
(DS) Vash: aww F*CK
[n00b] Coach: Call him up
(DS) Vash: did you really?
(DS) Vash: F*CK dude
[n00b] Coach: Let him know what's up, no I'm serious
(DS) Vash: no dude i said i F*CKING wouldnt do shit and i an not F*CKING joking
(DS) Vash: man
(DS) Vash: really
(DS) Vash: dude please dont do this to me
[n00b] Coach: Seriously, I hope you're just a kid messing around with my daughters head, that way you don't get into trouble.

At this point, I seriously hoped that this was a kid F*CKING around. I hoped the webcam pic I'd seen was bullshit with him in a full beard and all.

(DS) Vash: no dude i am F*CKING 20 if a cop comes to my house i am going to jail
(DS) Vash: please man i made a mistake
(DS) Vash: please
[n00b] Coach: Why would you go to jail?
(DS) Vash: i have a history
(DS) Vash: dude please
(DS) Vash: please
[n00b] Coach: Were you planning on coming to get her?
(DS) Vash: NO
(DS) Vash: i promise you i was not
[n00b] Coach: History of what?
(DS) Vash: i am not telling my history but i can promise you i will be in deep shit
(DS) Vash: dude please i thaught you said you wernt going to turn me in
[n00b] Coach: No, it isn't me you have to convince, It's my wife who is sitting here.
(DS) Vash: what do you want me to do
(DS) Vash: honstly
[n00b] Coach: Tell me
[n00b] Coach: She wants to know your history
[n00b] Coach: It's our daughters safety
(DS) Vash: i have a theft record
(DS) Vash: thats it
[n00b] Coach: Listen
(DS) Vash: i went to jail for theft
(DS) Vash: nothing else
(DS) Vash: i ma not a feaking criminal
[n00b] Coach: She has the email ready for Officer Bingham
[n00b] Coach: Aren't you a captain though?
[n00b] Coach: And a swat team officer?
[n00b] Coach: Surely they checked your background
(DS) Vash: it doesnt matter!
(DS) Vash: yeah i fucked up while i was working
(DS) Vash: dude please dont
(DS) Vash: I am really sorry
(DS) Vash: really
(DS) Vash: i am not messing
[n00b] Coach: All I can say is, I hope you're a little kid messing around with my daughter's head, if not, you better call Officer Bingham right now-509-342-1735. I mean now man, not kidding, neither is she

So, the wife is pissed, so am I, we pulled the info out that we wanted.

(DS) Vash: let me talk to her
(DS) Vash: please
[n00b] Coach: She's here
(DS) Vash: i will go to jail
[n00b] Coach: She says you won't go to jail with the record if you've done nothing wrong
(DS) Vash: please i promise i had no intention of going down there at all i have things to do and
(DS) Vash: Bull shit
(DS) Vash: i will
(DS) Vash: i know
(DS) Vash: i am still in the process of getting shit taken care of
(DS) Vash: please dont do this to me, I made a mistake and to your family i am really sorry! I will never do anything like this again!
(DS) Vash: I will never speak to any one in your family again
(DS) Vash: please just let me go i promise
(DS) Vash: I am trying to change shit i sware to god
[n00b] Coach: wtf are you so concerned with if you've done nothing wrong?
(DS) Vash: I HAVE A HISTORY
[n00b] Coach: Of?
(DS) Vash is now Offline.
Your state is set to Offline.
Lost connection to Steam, will rejoin chat automatically when connection regained.
Connected again and rejoined chat.
(DS) Vash is now Online.
(DS) Vash: please dont do this to me
(DS) Vash: i will do anything
[n00b] Coach: This is like the worst nightmare a parent can have, it's God Damned Nancy Grace shit where the internet stalker comes and steals away the child of two parents who didn't see it coming.

This is the wifey talking, I'd blow away anyone with my .45 if they came stalking up to my house. Oh, and the daughter has zero privileges right now, so she's good.

(DS) Vash: I sware to god i am not like that
(DS) Vash: i live in ml i have no money
(DS) Vash: please i will do any thing
(DS) Vash: i will make it up to you some how
(DS) Vash: what ever it is
[n00b] Coach: Money?
[n00b] Coach: I don't want your money
(DS) Vash: please
[n00b] Coach: You can't bribe your way out of this
(DS) Vash: well anything
[n00b] Coach: Better call that number
(DS) Vash: i will prove to you i am a good person
[n00b] Coach: 509-342-1735
[n00b] Coach: If you're good, you have nothing to worry about
[n00b] Coach: if not
(DS) Vash: please
[n00b] Coach: well....
(DS) Vash: voice chat me
[n00b] Coach: better be on the safe side
(DS) Vash: NO please dont
(DS) Vash: please i beg of you
(DS) Vash: can you please voice chat me
(DS) Vash: is your wife there?
(DS) Vash: can i talk to her?
[n00b] Coach: Yeah, sec, I'll let her type

Everything typed in my name was actually my wife typing. I was kinda feeling sorry for the little guy.

[n00b] Coach: Noah?
(DS) Vash: yes
[n00b] Coach: What is your last name?
(DS) Vash: i am not saying
(DS) Vash: please dont send the email;
[n00b] Coach: Okay, no worries, they will know anyway
(DS) Vash: i will delete you from my friends list please i will have no contact with you
(DS) Vash: i promise
[n00b] Coach: Do you think that will solve what you did already?
(DS) Vash: I did nothing wrong
(DS) Vash: i was trying to be nice
[n00b] Coach: What about any other kids you have talked to online?
(DS) Vash: i told her not to send that picture
(DS) Vash: i play with other kids but this is the first time i have done this and i will never do it again
[n00b] Coach: what is "this"
(DS) Vash: talked to another person online
(DS) Vash: i only hung out with her because she was teaching me how to play the game
(DS) Vash: and i we just became good friends
[n00b] Coach: as coach mentioned, if you have done nothing wrong then you have nothing to worry about
(DS) Vash: I WILL GO TO JAIL
(DS) Vash: please can you voice chat me
(DS) Vash: please
[n00b] Coach: Not for just talking and learning how to play counter strike
(DS) Vash: for what
[n00b] Coach: You wouldn't go to jail for that
(DS) Vash: YES I WOULD
(DS) Vash: I Know how this goes
(DS) Vash: you present your evidence
(DS) Vash: and i go away
(DS) Vash: i am not stupid
(DS) Vash: please
(DS) Vash: please can you help me out on this
[n00b] Coach: How can I help?
(DS) Vash: i will never speak to your family again
(DS) Vash: i am scard shitless right now
(DS) Vash: please
[n00b] Coach: Not talking to her would be in your best interest
(DS) Vash: i wont talk to you either
(DS) Vash: i will delete you guys right now i sware
(DS) Vash: but please dont send that email
(DS) Vash: i am promising you i will never do this agin
(DS) Vash: i cant affored another strike
[n00b] Coach: It's already sent
(DS) Vash: well you please need to take it back
(DS) Vash: please
[n00b] Coach: you should call him, or he is going to call you
[n00b] Coach: He has your number already
(DS) Vash: please dont do this to me
[n00b] Coach: From my cell phone records
(DS) Vash: you promised we were cool
[n00b] Coach: I am cool
[n00b] Coach: but not that cool. There are boundries in life
(DS) Vash: i know i steped over them and i fucked up i am sorry
(DS) Vash: please dont do this to me
[n00b] Coach: You're messing around with little kids and that just isn't allowed in life
[n00b] Coach: Besides, you made the deal with my husband not me. She is my only child and I protect her at all costs
(DS) Vash: you are one a group and thats not fair
[n00b] Coach: You know all this is being logged. From the first moment you gave Coach a PM
(DS) Vash: yeah i freaking know that
[n00b] Coach: Just call the man, if you have done nothing wrong you have nothing to worry about
(DS) Vash: how do i prove that
(DS) Vash: really how
[n00b] Coach: And if you have, I have to report it. As a parent.
(DS) Vash: no matter what you say i am fucked
(DS) Vash: really i am
[n00b] Coach: My only concern is my child
(DS) Vash: i understand that
(DS) Vash: really i do
[n00b] Coach: I am not out to ruin you. I am out to protect my child.
(DS) Vash: well you did
(DS) Vash: and i have to tell you that i am sorry i ever got involed with your family
(DS) Vash: and fyi she told me she was 18 when i first meet her
[n00b] Coach: Good, then I have done my job then. I couldn't live if anything happened to my child
(DS) Vash: its on her myspace page
[n00b] Coach: You said before that you knew she was 12 though
[n00b] Coach: Even if misled, you knew in the end
(DS) Vash: yeah after the fact she lied to me
[n00b] Coach: So, her lying made it right AFTER you found out she was 12 then?
[n00b] Coach: She lied so Oh well
(DS) Vash: what am i supposed to do now
[n00b] Coach: Call the number he gave you
[n00b] Coach: 509-342-1735
[n00b] Coach: Officer Bingham
(DS) Vash: and go to jail
[n00b] Coach: Tell him you are the person the email talks about
(DS) Vash: and then what?
[n00b] Coach: Tell him your side of the story, why you did what you did.
(DS) Vash: eaither way i am screwed
[n00b] Coach: If you have done nothing wrong, then you should be fine
(DS) Vash: how do i prove i did nothing wrong?
[n00b] Coach: A theft charge hardly warrants a death sentance when calling the police
[n00b] Coach: Perhaps you aren't being entirely honest with that either
(DS) Vash: well its a felony
(DS) Vash: ITS A FELONY
[n00b] Coach: Well, you're free. Seems like you have proven yourself innocent in that case
(DS) Vash: no i havent i am in the program that i have to work off the shit for a yeah
(DS) Vash: year
[n00b] Coach: How can you possibly have that punishment ongoing and be a captain in the fire department?
[n00b] Coach: And a member of the SWAT?
(DS) Vash: like i said before
(DS) Vash: i made a mistake i got a waring and now here i am back in trouble again

So, my wife has prolonged the agony long enough, I take back over again on the keyboard.

[n00b] Coach: Did you delete the picture off your phone?
[n00b] Coach: Did you delete it off your computer?
(DS) Vash: of corse i did as soon as i got the thing
(DS) Vash: i told her not to send it
(DS) Vash: she did it any way
[n00b] Coach: Then let me ask you one thing and I will leave you alone
(DS) Vash: well i hope your happy i am still in deep shit

At which point I was pissed beyond relief and just wanted a proper answer.

[n00b] Coach: Why did you tell her you were going to come pick her up one day here?
[n00b] Coach: Actually, I am not happy. Things like this doesn't make me "happy"
(DS) Vash: Well she told me she didnt liked where she lived and all this other stuff!
(DS) Vash: She was asking for help
[n00b] Coach: You won't make me feel guilty, or my daughter feel guilty. You knew in the end she was 12. Your actions are your own from there
[n00b] Coach: You are the adult, you should have more responsibility
(DS) Vash: I know that and i am really sorry
[n00b] Coach: And accountability
(DS) Vash: i was untill she sent me that picture
[n00b] Coach: What are you sorry for?
[n00b] Coach: If you have done nothing wrong. I find it facinating that you say that
[n00b] Coach: And you even told her to call you after the fact.
(DS) Vash: i am sorry to every one in your family for making such a big mistake and from here on out i will never talk to any one over the internet again! I am going to stick to books from now on! But now i have to count the days left untill i go to jail!

Nah, we'll meet again, I'm sure of it. This guy is retarded beyond belief!

[n00b] Coach: Hey, I seriously hope you aren't guilty. And no one else is or will be in danger
[n00b] Coach: Just a little kids messing with my daughter's mind
(DS) Vash: well i can tell you this, you have your evedice and i have nothing so eaither way i am fucked man
(DS) Vash: And i just wanted to be her friend
[n00b] Coach: They have this number: 1-509-496-2418
(DS) Vash: what else?
[n00b] Coach: What else? Should they reach you somewhere else?
[n00b] Coach: They have "Noah" captain of the fire department and SWAT team member
[n00b] Coach: And medic
(DS) Vash: well thats good
(DS) Vash: now they can come to my work
(DS) Vash: and thats my work phone btw
[n00b] Coach: Okay
(DS) Vash: so you have my email right?
[n00b] Coach: My wife is done with this
[n00b] Coach: so am I
[n00b] Coach: dude, it's really over
(DS) Vash: okay well one more time i am sorry
(DS) Vash: did you really call the cops on me or not?
[n00b] Coach: What's the number I gave you?
[n00b] Coach: Earlier
(DS) Vash: 509-342-1735
[n00b] Coach: Just call it
(DS) Vash: thats the number to mlpd

So, I take a bit of pity on the guy and offer him up one last chance to come clean.

[n00b] Coach: Take a chance, maybe Officer Bingham will take it easy on you and knock the whole thing off as a misunderstanding.
[n00b] Coach: no, that's the number to the after hours PD
(DS) Vash: dude you know they know who i am
(DS) Vash: Yeah the cell phone they have in there call
[n00b] Coach: No, he didn't
(DS) Vash: car
(DS) Vash: well thats just great
[n00b] Coach: Unless you're not Noah
(DS) Vash: what is his first name
(DS) Vash: i will know who he is!
[n00b] Coach: Then you should know his first name
(DS) Vash: i dont know him
[n00b] Coach: Abe Bingham
(DS) Vash: i dont know who he is
[n00b] Coach: he was on call
[n00b] Coach: Wait, I'll ask him if he knows you, what's your last name, Noah?
(DS) Vash: i will just call him
[n00b] Coach: Okay, that's probably best
[n00b] Coach: he said you live in a community that has only 2,000 people....But you're near a city that has around 500,000 or so. Chances are, he doesn't know you...yet
(DS) Vash: yeah yet
(DS) Vash: why do you want my last name?
[n00b] Coach: Being a captain, SWAT and medic, that'd be unbelievable
[n00b] Coach: He wanted it
[n00b] Coach: He has your number
[n00b] Coach: It's on or cell phone
(DS) Vash: ask him to give me a call then
[n00b] Coach: Er, our
[n00b] Coach: am I a fish?
(DS) Vash: no
[n00b] Coach: you think you're going to bait me
[n00b] Coach: ?
[n00b] Coach: You're done
(DS) Vash: no
[n00b] Coach: Call or don't call
(DS) Vash: i am not trying to do that
[n00b] Coach: he may call you
[n00b] Coach: maybe not
[n00b] Coach: he may just show up at your door
(DS) Vash is now Offline.
Your state is set to Offline.
Lost connection to Steam, will rejoin chat automatically when connection regained.
Connected again and rejoined chat.
(DS) Vash is now Online.
[n00b] Coach: That's your deal, not mine
[n00b] Coach: all up to you now
[n00b] Coach: really
[n00b] Coach: 509-342-1735 Officer Bingham should answer

Good job Coach. Read the entire thing, F*CKING great shit. Guy going to get a 20+ or life sentence. Good stuff.

Post more updates on this.

yes more updates for sure....wut a F*CKIN bag of douche

I was going to post a story about a boy getting a fish stuck in his bladder, but this beats it.

DEATH.

TO HIM AND ALL THOSE HE KNOWS.

you're a bigger person than i am coach.

What a sick F*CK. It's funny how he insults himself when he shows you his pics. I really want to know what his history is.

cliffnotes plz

Good work Coach. I'm sure you don't need to be told this, but you did the right thing.

Keep us posted.

coach layin down the law ftw

tl;dr some ugly looking F*CKER [a cross between the penguin from the batman movies and Gman] tried to pull some tricks on Coach's daughter, out of guilt he provided a shitton of personal info, and the party van is on its way.

Gman is way more sexier than this douchefaggot

What a F*CKING moron, hope he gets his bootyhole blown out in prison.

I would keep F*CKING with him. Don't let up at all! That fat F*CKER deserves everything he gets!

(DS) Vash: you promised we were cool
[n00b] Coach: I am cool
[n00b] Coach: but not that cool. There are boundries in life

Thats classic haha. Guy is a douche. I like his rediculous story of being a Fireman a swt team member and a medic lol. A EMT and firman is beliveable but why would you bon sat your not a police officer lol. He should go to jail.

I take my hat off to you sir.

Are those links in the post safe to click or is it some BOM POW shit that can fuckz up your computer

EDIT: nvm i took the risk and clicked them.

SFW


Good job coach. That guy is a piece of F*CKING shit

This dude totally bought himself an express ticket to a C*CK shank and then a fork shank on Coach Airlines.

ROFL.

This thread needs less patting coach on the back, and more partyvan.jpg

So youre back?

Lawlz it took me 2 hours to read this thing cause i couldn't keep on track. But damn gotta hate them pervs. Also when did the Canadian get back.

Coach, the lesser of Chris Hanson. Keep up the good work and your daughter is lucky to have parents like you and your wife protecting them. She may not understand right now, but later, she will thanks you for protecting her from freaks like him.