I live in a suburb of Detroit. I grew up in the thumb of Michigan which is were my parents still live and farm. I visit every other weekend or so.

A few weeks back I went up to my parents for our spring turkey season. Because the ol lady stayed at home (in the city) I was sure to spend lots of time at the bar with friends from my hometown. The bar in town is the most hillbilly I have ever seen in Michigan. They literally have maybe 12 different liquors and 2 maybe 3 different types of beer. A music machine that has not been changed since the late 80's and a pool table that hasn't been smooth and flat for 15 years.

There I am with about 10 of my local friends. Most are still in their farming clothes and a few others in full camo from hunting. We get ripped. I actually nearly threw up on the wall of the bathroom, close call. I continue drinking. My closet friend begins to give us a story about some chick he was tagging. We thought he was bullshitting us and we were all giving him shit. He made a comment about a tattoo this girl had (I honestly don't remember what the tattoo was). A few seconds later the only dude in the place that we didn't know walks over to our table and sucker punches our buddy in the side of the face. Knocks him right out of the chair. Bad, bad move on his part. The guy who punches him begins to explain that it was his wife that my buddy was talking about. The tattoo was unique to her and he couldn't of been talking about anyone else. We all motivate my buddy to get up and take this dick's ass outside and whoop him. He calmly gets up and asks the dude to step into his office outside (sounded cool at the time). As we are walking outside I send a text to another friend who is the town's only police officer and was on duty at the time. This wasn't to protect my buddy, I was confident he was going to smoke this dude.



We are outside. They square up and the guy starts to run his mouth. My buddy made the comment about how his wife begged him to eat her pu$$y but he wouldn't do it because it smelled like shit. My buddy whacks him three or four times before the other dude knows what to do. My buddy takes another to the face and then explodes on this guy. Another 3 or 4 shots to the face and the guy falls to the ground and my buddy said something about his wife's pu$$y being destroyed after he had it. The guy gets up and runs to his truck bleeding from his nose and mouth pretty bad. We thought he was leaving. He comes back with a baseball bat and starts swinging it around at anyone in his way. He doesn't connect with anyone luckily. Our cop buddy pulls up at just the right time. He runs out to the guy with the bat, pulls his tazer and without any warning lights his ass up. I have seen many people tazed at work but this was the best ever. The guys muscles lock and he falls to the ground stiff as a board. We all start laughing. Our buddy puts him in cuffs and we all give bullshit statements to our cop buddy. He takes him to the county jail and we go back inside to continue our drinking. Back inside someone reminded us that this dudes truck was still outside. Not a smart thing to say to a bunch of drunks. Everyone is now back outside. They start by tearing off everything they could on the outside of the truck. Then someone finds that the truck is unlocked. They basically stole everything that could be ripped off on the inside. A few phone calls later and a truck pulls up with a couple of jacks, air tanks and pneumatic tools. The truck was sitting on its axles in 30 minutes bare. I went home to sleep off the beer and hunted the next morning.

I drove by the next afternoon and the truck was still sitting there bare as could be. I kind of felt bad thinking about it with a sober mind. Oh well, a lesson learned for that guy. Walk into a foreign bar by yourself and punch a guy sitting with about 10 others and your asking for it. Even if your wife was getting railed its not worth it. If anything he should of went home and beat the snot out of his wife.

I called our cop friend and the guy was let out the next day and made a formal report about his truck being vandalized. Good times.

LOL! Sucker punch FTL.

LOL THATS SOME FUNNY SHIT

So your buddy was F*CKING this dudes wife, the dude got his ass kicked and you mexicanned his truck?

Sounds like you should feel bad, if some dude was F*CKING my chick I would've done the same thing.

LMFAO! thats the funniest n00b story i've ever heard, good shit man, i dont care if it's true or not , thats some good funny shit

Epic lulz.

Update -
Just got a call from by buddy who was involved with the fight at the bar. He was inside walmart for about 30 min and when he came out to his truck all 4 valve stems in his tires were pulled. LOL. He was pissed but I compared his damage to the other guy's (if he was responsible to the tires) and a tow with 4 valve stems is a hell of a lot cheaper than the damage the other guy got.






I do feel bad. The guy had nuts to throw a punch at my buddy and I don't blame him. The guy who's wife was getting railed was there with some older guy that just stayed in his chair and didn't say a word. Come to find out that he is from the next town over about 7 miles away. Its kind of an redneck rule that you don't go into another town's bar and and get crazy unless you have a few friends to help you out regardless of the reasoning.

Well, in that case...he fucked up.

Rule #1 of being a man: If your woman is F*CKING around, don't get pissed at the guy she's banging unless it's someone you know who is aware that she's your girlfriend/wife/etc. Unless she's being raped, it's more her fault than ANYONE else's. She fucked up -- not the guy.

Amen.

One of my 19 year old girlfriends from awhile back let me in on the fact that she was currently dating a deployed-to-iraq soldier. She let me know this about 2 months into our incredible relationship. I ended it (she wanted to keep it going) and felt like complete dirt until I realized that I'd been played just as much as the poor dude.