Last July I was in a car accident. Driving down route 27 in Damascus, MD with my girlfriend in the passenger seat. This Chevy Tahoe in front of us slammed on its breaks and we slammed on ours. This isn't the crash though. We didn't rear-end the Tahoe and we came to a complete stop.

Next thing I know, I wake up covered in blood and the driver's side of the car (my side) is caved-in. So my girlfriend and I get out on her side and move over towards a grassy area (we crashed near an orchard). She's straight up freaking the F*CK out. I also saw some huge fat-ass with no shirt on screaming "OH MY GOD! WHAT THE F*CK! DID YOU SEE THAT?! OH MY GOD!" So I calm my girlfriend down and she calls the police and an ambulance.

Now, we all look back over to the crash-site and see flames coming from underneath a car that had rear-ended us. I look away for TWO SECONDS, look back, and the car behind ours explodes. Then our car catches on fire.

The ambulance finally shows up and I'm so F*CKING elated that we're even alive that I can hardly contain myself. They were asking me questions to assess whether or not I had a concussion, like "What day is it?" to which I responded "It's my day off man! I'm not in school, you can't give me a test!" I also gave out a lot of promises for free meals at the restaurant where I work.

We got to the hospital:


Glass that my girlfriend pulled out of her pants:


So turns out I had a cut above my upper-lip that extends up into my nasal cavity, which I got stitches for. I also had a cut on my forehead. Now I have two kick-ass facial scars.

Here's what really happened:
1. We stopped behind the Tahoe.
2. Some douchecock FLYING from the other direction (driving a Chevy Sonic) hit a cow that was in the middle of the road
3. The cow gets launched through the air, over the Tahoe, lands on the back of the Tahoe, rolls off, and lands on our car.
4. Car #1 which hit the cow swerved around our car and rear-ended us.
5. After they rear-ended us, they hit the guard-rail which caused a spark due to faulty battery-wiring and ignited the engine of the car, causing the explosion.
6. The owner of the cow (also the owners of the orchard) was assigned all liability.

My car:







When we got to the hospital, I had a piece of beef on my shirt that had passed through the windshield.


Anybody else have a crazy car accident story?

HOLY SHIT.
the good thing is that your still alive o_0

GAHAHA, Silly ryan.
I would tell my accident story, but i can't follow that up.

WTF. Shit like this can't be made up. Glad you're not dead, breh.

Did you make a steak out of the beef?

F*CK yeah man, that looks awesome!

well shit...i guess mine is nothing to complain too much about then glad ur ok

I didn't realize I was playing with such an IRL badass, barely know you, but i'm glad you're alright!

Got into an accident similar (minus the cow) a few years back.


Worst part was picking shards of glass out of my beard for a week.


Scars are awesome.

Oh yea? Well one time, I was reading in my car and out of nowhere.... Well, this picture will explain the rest.

F*CKING Cows. Glad you're OK

Better thank the good Lord. Thats gnarly as hell and glad to see your still up and kickin

Brutal.. is that chunk of cow on the drivers side door or blood/puke from you? Youre lucky to be alive man.

It's cow intestines.

WOO COW INNARDS!

My mom hit a horse after it had been hit by the truck in front of her. It landed on the highway, she hit it and flew "forever"(F*CKING women don't know distances.)

She walked away unharmed, and her car was pretty much fine too.

The guy in the truck ahead of her(hit horse first) seemed fine at the time, died the next day from internal injuries, and the lady that hit the horse after my mom, flipped her car, got thrown from it, landed on the highway and was presumed dead, until she got run over by oncoming traffic, confirmed dead.

I didn't see any of this, I just got the story and then saw the horse, took the county a week to get the thing once they moved it off the road.

mom is F*CKING lucky she didn't get killed, same goes for you.

As an aside: was I the only one who got hungry for steak reading his story?

Got any pics of the cow? But seriously glad your alright.

wow that sucks glade your ok

right after taht i would totally order a T-bone steak cook it to perfection, then go all cave man on that shit and just maul it with my face.

but damn dude that is probably the craziest accident story ive ever heard, only one i can think of even close to it was from a friend in high school, whos life was saved by NOT wearing his seat belt... drunk driver hits their car head on(he was a passenger in the cabin of his friends truck) he gets thrown into the dash(ouch). The crazy thing is had he been wearing his seat belt the spare tire in the bed of the truck would have snapped his neck when it went through the back window and nailed the head of his seat. the paramadecis flat out said they had never seen an accident like this where NOT using his seat belt had saved his life.