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| Easter Story! http://n00bfest.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=104&t=44660 |
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| Author: | CPTReynolds [ Sun Apr 08, 2012 10:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Easter Story! |
Back when I was a teenager and Dirtbag was still just an old man, my father and I would go do Easter brunches. Now my dad would love to try out new restuarants every year and this one year my dad found and very nice European Restuarant downtown Toronto. Now this place was really nice and they went all out for Easter. At the front door of the restuarant they put up a small petting zoo full of bunnies for the little kids to pet and cuddle while waiting for there table. I thought it was a great idea, entertain the kids that usually have no patience to wait. This really worked out well because the place was extremely popular and was packed. Once you got your table it was an all you can eat buffet and the food was cooked by there chefs right in front of you fresh, not in heated bins. My father and I had a great time going to all the different tables trying out new foods from around the world. Well on our third time out, we come across a table that cooked all sorts of meat. It was an amazing the selection and it was wonderfully labeled. Sure enough while we were in line the person just beside my father was a young family with a daughter no older then 5. Now this sweet little girl was dressed up in a new pink dress and her hair all in bows was just having the greatest time. Now being so young she couldn't read so she would keep asking her mother what was in all the food containers. Now you got to remember that this was a European restuarant so there were some food that is normal for Europe and not so much here. The little girl points out a container filled with meat and says to mother "what's that?". Now before the woman can read the label and come up with an answer my father and I had already read the it and it said "Rabbit". My father turns to me jokingly and says "The Easter Bunny", not knowing the little girl heard him. She freaked! Screamed and ran from the table righ to the front door crying. It was when we were heading back to our table we saw the little girl had run right to the petting zoo and was grabbing all the bunnies and was stuffing them into her dress that she was now lifting in the front to make a basket. The girls parents were doing there best to calm her down and put the bunnies back before they got into trouble. Now there are two morals to this story. The first is, if your going to make a smart ass comment make sure the intended victim is out of ear shot range. The second is don't make a petting zoo out of animals that you are serving as a meal, lol. |
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| Author: | chronicW33D [ Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:01 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Easter Story! |
HAHAAHHAHAHA poor kid:( and ya wtf rabbit on Easter? good one cpt. |
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| Author: | -Purple- [ Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Easter Story! |
HAHAHAHAHA |
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| Author: | VansGogh [ Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Easter Story! |
pshhahaah |
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| Author: | Kwang! [ Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Easter Story! |
That's a knee slapper, good sir. A knee slapper. |
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| Author: | AnalChowMein [ Mon Apr 09, 2012 7:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Easter Story! |
I have some good ones with my dad in public. Our family suffers from hearing loss at a young age, around 30 you can expect to invest in hearing aids. I have about a year left but I'm sure if I was checked now they would give them to me. My dad's hearing is so bad that he blurts stuff out but doesn't realize how loud he is. His hearing aids were designed in 1920 so they really do no good. We were at an the German restaurant that sponsored me for the Masskrugstemmen. All their waiting staff wore German clothing, females in dirndl and males in lederhosen. Our waitress came to our table half way through our meal to check on us, as she walked away my Dad says, "I wonder what kind of panties she has on?" She stopped in her tracks, turned around and looked right at me. She was immediately red and had a shocked look on her face like she just won the lottery. Needless to say I was embarrassed and my dad looks at me and says, "what happened?" We were at a Chinese restaurant with a buffet. Most of the workers were family and were sitting a few tables over snapping green beans. My dad returns to our table with a full plate of food and nearly yells out, "Look at all those slant eyes snapping those beans." Their whole table stopped (about 8 of them) and looked at us. The pause lasted forever and was really awkward. He is also known for saying, "I gotta fart!" then he cuts one not know how load it was because of his hearing. He never gets embarrassed, he plays off the no hearing thing and just nods. People will talk to him and he just smiles and nods. If a cashier asks paper or plastic he nods and smiles. |
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| Author: | CPTReynolds [ Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Easter Story! |
LOL Anal! My father was colour blind and it took me and my sister years to figure out why my father had a thing for green. Green carpets, green cars, green appliances and so on. It wasn't till we got into adulthood we figured it out that he could only see the colour green. |
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| Author: | Kwang! [ Mon Apr 09, 2012 5:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Easter Story! |
AnalChowMein wrote: He never gets embarrassed, he plays off the no hearing thing and just nods. People will talk to him and he just smiles and nods. If a cashier asks paper or plastic he nods and smiles. Funny stories. Also, I've been going down that hearing loss route since I was very young and even had hearing aids at one time but don't right now. I smile and nod. A lot. |
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| Author: | DUBz [ Wed Apr 11, 2012 12:12 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Easter Story! |
Those are some good stories... here's a good easter story... we had an annual family easter egg hunt everyyear from 85-96 with my 5 cousins and my sister and I at the family farm.. it was a blast . the adults would rush home after country church and get the eggs hidden around the farmyard. My dad and uncles had been drinking heavily the night before and continued the next morning after church.(so they had a minor alcohol problem?) and they thought it would be funny to make some of their own candy... You know the little egg shaped chocolates in the foil? well there happened to be a couple rabbits running around and they also made their own candy.. SO my lil rotten cousin Andrew who is a terrible spoiled brat only found like 5 eggs that the adults had to point out to him every year, my dad and uncles knew this and they thought he was a lil' HOMOSEXUAL so they made some foil egg chocolate treats from the real rabbits round chocolate droppings and put them in a egg right by the house where they knew that lil' HOMOSEXUAL's dad would see it and make sure Andrew got it. ( Andrews dad is a pu$$y and his son is one because of this, kinda like the guy that starts a fight and gets his ass kicked then calls the cops and sues the other guy) any whoo that lil' HOMOSEXUAL got that last egg and he was so damn proud and his dad was just an arrogant F*CK and we all gather and watched that lil' F*CKER eat that rabbit shit, then laughed in his face! epic . I never let that punk forget that shit, the end!... true story. |
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| Author: | Kwang! [ Wed Apr 11, 2012 12:15 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Easter Story! |
You win. |
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| Author: | VansGogh [ Sat Apr 14, 2012 1:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Easter Story! |
Ho ly shit. Your drunk dad fed a small child rabbit feces on Easter Sunday .. That's F*CKING awesome , because he probably deserved it |
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